Baby Coobs' film debute

A couple of Leila tidbits

I have have written about this one before, but just in case...Everyday when we drive home from work we go by a construction site. When Leila sees it she always says, "Look at that mess! They need to clean it up!"

Last week I made a butternut squash, call it a weird craving, but I just had to have it. So we have squash for dinner and Leila wanted nothing to do with it. I tried to convince her to try it by telling her about how she used to love it when she was a baby! Ever since then she occasionally breaks out with this, "When I was a little girl, I used to eat squash!" I think it is so funny to hear her say, as if she isn't a little girl anymore...what a funny little sweetheart she is.

The Shack

So my sister Andrea convinced me to read The Shack, and in the process ruined a whole day for me.
I started it on Monday night and cried like a baby... I can't think of anything more awful than what happened in that book. I pretty much had to skim most of it because it was so unbearable, and even at that I sobbed myself to sleep. It was very icky.
So Tuesday night I decided to further punish my hormonal mind by finishing the book. Day two was better, I still cried, but there was a lot of good stuff too. I like to read about people's interpretations of God and of the afterlife. This one felt pretty true to my own thoughts and I liked that. I just wish the author had used a less horrifying example of loss to help make his point about grief. It was too much for me, and therefore it was very difficult for me to get to the good stuff. Some things that I did get out of the book that I appreciated:
1. God has hopes and plans for us, but we have free will and he won't stand in the way of our decisions, even if they aren't the best.
2. God loves all of his children, but he gave us this earth and now we have to learn to share it, and if we can't get along, too bad.
3. Even when the really bad things happen, trust in God's love for you and know that when it is all said and done, you will live in heaven, where there is no evil and in the meantime God will do his best to make good come out of bad as long we are here on earth.

All interesting points, but for me personally, it wasn't worth going through this man's experience of losing his daughter in such a violent way. So the gist is, I don't recommend it unless you have a high tolerance for sadness or are easily able to separate yourself from characters in a book. I am not one of those people.

In fact, I am pretty much unable to separate myself from people I work with, people I read about in the newspaper, people I have befriended over the internet, or just about anyone else in this world. I have been this way for as long as I can remember, but I have to say that having a child makes this so much worse for me. Compassion is a good thing, but whatever I have goes a little too far. I read the book to help me feel better about some things that have been causing me sadness. I didn't really get that but I am working to trust in God to take care of those that I don't know, but I know are hurting so I can concentrate on counting the many blessings I have. This is very hard for me but I am praying for strength and guidance to let go.

Mortality

I saw a commercial for this show once, I don't remember for sure what the show was called, but the scene stuck out in my mind. A woman asks a man, "Why do people have to die?" and his response is, "To make life valuable."
As a Christian, I know that I am supposed to look at death as a gift. A passport to a world that is better than earth, where you don't read everyday on cnn.com about pain and suffering, but instead spend all of eternity in God's presence with no regard for the work you have to get done and the deadlines you have to make. It sounds pretty good, but then, why is death so hard to deal with?
Heavy topic for a mommy blog I know, but unfortunately this topic has dominated my thoughts all week. I don't really want to get into the sad details of why that is, but suffice it to say that I am having a hard time dealing with the question, "why do people have to die?" I know very well why death seems so sad and scary to me. It is permanent. No more hugging your babies, no more reading them books. No more late night conversations in bed with your husband. I don't understand how someone could choose to give that up. But it happens, and it makes me incredibly sad.
Even sadder is not having a choice. Either way death is hard, and life can sometimes be harder. I am grateful to be be able to see how valuable life is.
I think this world is the sad place that it is for a reason, I believe that the sadness and trials of earth are here to help us do a better job as angels someday. I hope I am right.
I wish I could heal all of the hurt and then turn off my mind for a while.

Pumpkin Time Fun!

My wonderful family. I am so blessed.

The cutest pumpkins in the patch!!


Tasting the apples!


Uncle Steve's job was manning the apple picker

Daddy and Leila walking through the apple trees

Andrea and Sawyer getting settled in for the walk around the orchard


Leila and Sawyer enjoying the picnic from the back of the Equinox :)

Kellie's wedding

Two weekends ago we made a trip to Lincoln, NE for my cousin Kellie's wedding. We had a really nice time. I think Leila had the best time of all. Not only did she get to swim in a hotel swimming pool but she also got to dance the night away at the reception.
When we got to the wedding she immediately noticed the cake and had to take a look. I think while we were waiting for the wedding to start Cory had to carry her over to look at the "birthday cake" three or four times. We had to keep a close eye on her or she would have attacked the thing I am sure! The grooms cake had fish on and Leila said that it was a big scary shark.
So we sat down in our seats and Cory was explaining to Leila what we were about to see. He told her that when you get married you get a ring and he showed her his ring, and I showed her mine.
So the wedding gets started and Leila is standing on her seat and she says loudly enough that all of our row could hear her, "I am going to get married and then I will get a ring right here!" As she held up her hand in the air. Too funny.
I wish that I could figure out how to get my video's to upload without taking FOREVER so I could show you Leila dances moves, but for some reason our internet doesn't want to work very fast for me so you will have to settle for pictures!





On our way back home on Sunday we stopped in Tabor to see our Howard family. My Aunt and Uncle had a house fire on Friday afternoon. I didn't take any pictures of the house, but the fire was devastating and this week the house will be torn down to start over. Thankfully a lot of their belongings were salvaged, including most of the family pictures. I will be thinking of them as they start putting everything back together and begin moving on.

Leila and Grandma made Daddy a birthday cake. She was SO excited about it!!!

Walking with Aunt Dani. Leila has the best Aunts.

Running around in the grass at UNI with aunt Cassie. Have I mentioned that Leila has some of the best aunts in the WORLD?!?!

She was REALLY proud of the tall tall tower she built!

Leila decided that really liked Brina's bunny, so she took it and brought it home with her :) We did return it...sorry Brina!

Leila and Daddy playing wheelbarrow :)

I have been a bad bad blogger. Partly because life has been so hectic lately, and partly because I am spending a lot of time on all things political. I know that most of my readership disagrees with me politically, so I am keeping my trap shut for now. :)

Potty training is still going on...the kid won't poop on the potty chair to save her life. I am thinking about just calling the whole thing off for now, she will eventually get there and I am beginning to believe the potty pressure is causing some of her behavior issues lately, the kid is frustrated and so are we! We have a sticker chart and we all clap and cheer every time she goes, but it doesn't seem to be enough...I really think it is a control issue because she has been staying dry at daycare, she just loves to punish the ones that love her most.

On the baby front, things are going well. I have only had a net gain of one pound, and at 18 weeks along, I will take that! I am feeling the baby move, which is neat, but I feel guilty to say that I still don't feel all that connected to this little one. That may make me seem like a bad mother, and maybe I am, but I try to be honest with myself here. I know I will get there(I assume?), but for some reason, I just haven't fully accepted that I am having another baby. I have another appointment on Monday where we will be scheduling my ultrasound for somewhere around the 20 week mark...I will be 19 weeks on Monday so I will assume sometime in the week or two following that appointment we will get to have a peak of our little on. You can count on my posting pictures, but don't expect to see the gender, we will be telling the tech not to show/tell us so we can have a the surprise unveiled at the birth.

I do have some pictures to post from when we went to Cedar Falls to visit Dani on family weekend at UNI...I will try to get them up tonight.