I probably shouldn't take a lot of time at this since as I speak Grandma is upstairs rangling with all three of her grand babies while I sit in Andrea's quiet basement uploading pictures and updating my blog. I won't feel too bad about it though since Grandma was just begging for updates. This is what she gets!
So, I am nearing the end of my maternity leave, which is a little bitter sweet, but I have to say it is mostly sweet. I have really enjoying having this time with Thea, but I am really ready to get back in the swing of our "real life." Since I am going to be working part time, I don't feel nearly the heartache over leaving the girls at daycare that I did when Leila was the infant. I don't like sending a baby to daycare, but she will only be there 2 days a week and I will get to return to my work, that I honestly enjoy. I am a little worried about the guilt I will feel at not being able to turn out the amount of work as a full time employee, but I am really going to try to not let that bother me. Along with being part time, I am also going to be taking breaks throughout the day to pump breastmilk for Thea. I have come up with a plan to make this productive time though! :) Our public libraries have books on CD so I am going to put some books on my iPod to listen too while I pump. I am going to start with The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I figure, for having taking tons of business classes and working in a professional career, it is probably pretty shameful that I have never read this book, and so I am going to kill two birds with one stone. Now enough about me...
Leila has been having a pretty good couple of weeks. The warm weather has done us both a lot of good. We have been taking walks, going the park and she is trying to master ride the tricycle. Just yesterday I took her out to ride her trike. She is used to being pushed, but we took the push handle off of it and told her it was time she peddled herself. Well, she made it about 4 houses down before she got off and refused to peddle. She is stubborn, but so am I. I think the neighbors enjoyed the show as we stood on the sidewalk and argued. Leila finally pushed her trike on to its side and threw a big fit, so I pushed her right back home! :) Better luck next time!
We have recently starting going to gymnastics class at the rec center. The first time Leila would not participate at all and it was a really miserable experience. This last week was a vast improvement though and I think she had a lot more fun. Hopefully the new class schedule for summer will work well for us so she can keep going. I am hoping it will help her get over some of her fears and work on following directions.
She is a beautiful spirited little girl and she really loves her sister. Though lately she has been begging for a baby brother. She even asked me if we could trade Thea for her new little cousin Quincy. Quincy is cute but I am very much attached to my little squishy, so I don't see that happening! :)
Thea is wonderful, beautiful and getting to be a lot of fun. She loves to smile and is on the verge of a giggle, I can almost get it out of her! She has been sleeping through the night! AMAZING! I don't mind saying it outloud, though I know it is a jinx, because I am sure it won't last forever, but for now we are really enjoying the rest!
As for Cory, I can tell you that he has been busy with work, and every day he comes home to a house full of girls that love him to no end. Leila is even more of a Daddy's girl now then she was before Thea came around. Everytime he leaves she asks me when he will be back.
At daycare last week Leila told one of the teachers, "My Daddy loves me and he is going to pick me up after work!"
Thea saves some of her biggest smiles for Daddy too, so I may have two Daddy's girls on my hands.
Maybe when Leila gets her little brother he will be a Momma's boy! HAHA Just kidding!
We made a trip to Tabor last weekend for my cousin Allison's high school graduation. We had a great time hanging out with family and managed to fit in a trip to the Henry Doorly Zoo!
We met up with the Collins Family (high school friends of Cory's)and had a great day exploring the zoo. Considering that we usually make our annual zoo trip in the dead of summer when it is 100 degrees and miserable, this was a great experience! Even Thea was a trooper and had a good day.
Leila and her little stuffed deer are REALLY excited about the aquarium!
Checking out the turtles
My beautiful sisters with our mom! 
Thea hanging with Grandma Lori on her first trip to the zoo. 
Leila is getting to be a very big Gorilla. 
It is official. Grandma Dalene's daisies (referenced in this post http://mommytolbc.blogspot.com/2007/09/daisies.html) are blooming in North Liberty!
I am not in a great place, and probably should choose another time to blog but I have a lot on my mind so prepare for the mental diarrhea. I came to a realization about myself today as I was downing a Diet Dr. Pepper. I have no self control. Every day I think to myself, "Today I am going to watch what I eat and not drink so much pop." And every day I load up on junk (ice cream and granola bars today) and drink way too much pop (I drank 4 1/2 liter bottles of pop today, yes that is 2 liters.) Wow. So not only am I fat and getting fatter, but I am poor. I spend about 40 dollars a month on pop. That seems outrageous to me, and yet, I still keep buying the stuff. The worst part is, Leila likes it too. Every time she sees me with one she asks for a drink. Now, I know this isn't PC but I don't mind her having some pop from time to time, but I am not a fan of the caffeine and aspartame that she is taking in when swigs down as much Diet Dr. Pepper as she can manage before I tell her she has had enough. I am ok with pickling myself in chemical ridden soda but I owe it to her to consider her health more carefully. Damn it this lead by example stuff is hard to handle. So there you go. Junk food and diet pop. Every night I go to bed feeling like a failure because I can't even handle feeding myself without going overboard.
So not only do I lack the will power to kick the carbonation addiction, I behave the SAME WAY when it comes to money. Money is really tight right now, and it is going to be for a couple of years. I have been trying to do smart meal planning and grocery shopping and not buying things that we don't absolutely need, but just like that chocolate ice cream, I walk out of Target with a cart full of stuff that I had to have and 100 dollars less than I brought with me. If you saw what my paychecks look like, you would know how important that 100 dollars is. So I go to bed at night disappointed in myself and regretful about my consumption.
I am enrolling Leila in a gymnastics class. 40 dollars a month that we don't really have. What are the odds that I can kick the pop habit and replace my 40 dollars worth of sweet bubbly pop in exchange for a fun activity for Leila? Wish me luck.
My over consumption and general gluttony has really got me down. After Leila was born I wrote a blog post that I have linked in my sidebar, about self acceptance. Three years later, I am still doing a terrible job of living a life that I can be happy with. I want to go to bed feeling content, accomplished, healthy and relaxed. I need to get past my own insecurities, tackle my bad habits and learn to "Let Go and Let God." What an exhausting to do list. If only I could accept and appreciate myself enough to put in the work.
She doesn't look happy, but she sure is getting big!
Leila wanted in on the action too :)
And just because she is so cute!
The days keep flying by. I have just over 3 weeks of maternity leave left and it seems like just yesterday that Thea was born.
The weeks have been flying by us and Thea keeps growing! She is already in size 2 diapers and most of her clothing is now size 3-6 months. I have been going through her clothes trying to make sure she has an opportunity to wear every one of her cute new outfits before she outgrows them. It is so sad to pack up all of those cute clothes knowing she has only worn them ONCE! I am a bit of a Gymboree addict so I try to make sure that none of those clothes go unworn! :)
Leila has been a challenge. This week especially has been a challenge. I try really hard to make sure that Leila's days at home aren't boring and that she gets attention and we do activities that are fun for her, but it gets really difficult to keep her happy. I am sure part of it is just that she is 3 and has a new baby sister taking part of the attention. Along with that, she refuses to nap. If I want to force her, it takes an hour or two of fighting and then the hour or 2 that she actually sleeps and our whole afternoon is shot. I let her go without napping, she is a TERROR once 4:00 hits. It is really a no win situation. I really want us to enjoy our time together, but I find that I spend most of our days redirecting her, or threatening her with time or, or giving her time outs. It has been a major rain on my parade. I had very high hopes for this time and I have been looking forward to this since Cory and I decided to pursuit my staying home part time.
On the work front, it is official, when I go back to work on June 1st, I will be a part time employee. I will be working Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and spending Wednesdays and Fridays at home with the girls. My new schedule, and the fact that I really enjoy my job and the people I work with has me really looking forward to going back. I appreciate the time I am able to spend at home, but I would really really like to get back in the swing of things. I decided to take this much time because I believe that babies need their momma's and I wanted to give Thea a full time at home mom for as long as we could, but I am really feeling restless and like I am not at my best. I would not make a good stay at home mom. On top of that, our home does not have the space to play. I really wish we had a playroom where Leila could truly do as she pleased, as it is, her things are spread out through the house in rooms that also contain things that are NOT her toys, and of course those are the items that she really wants to play with. The terrible twos are nothing compared to the threes. I love my daughter so much and it kills me to spend so much time upset with her. Something has to give. I am now on the prowl for books on discipline...I need some fresh ideas to save my sanity.
