Cold

Today we pulled up to our house just as we were beginning to lose the very last bit of sunlight that today had to offer.  I jumped out of the car at the end of the driveway to get the mail from the mailbox.  The cold wind greeted me and offered a reminder of the bitter winter that I try to block out of my mind.  Empty.  Not even a bill to make my early exit into the cold worth the walk to the only slightly warmer garage.
As I walked past the poor Alero, whose spot in the garage has been taken over by miscellaneous boxes of junk and summer's left over yard toys, I inspected the long snaky looking lines of ice running down the length of the windows and doors. Signs of a warmer day, when the weekend's snow began to disappear, only to be caught by the cold darkness that always comes too soon and leaves behind, instead of piles of light soft snow, the cold hard ice of a failed attempt at melting.
Tomorrow will be another race with the sun to melt away the burden of winters cold and snow before the premature darkness of the season arrives.  It feels like a never ending un-winnable race.

Christmas pictures

Daddy and his girls before church

Christmas beauties!

I think this red is her color.  I love this dress on her!

Opening toys from Santa on Christmas morning!

Leila couldn't wait to open and try out her baking set! She is holding a little Cinderella doll with rubber clothes.  She LOVES it.  She also got a Belle, and she has been playing with them both a lot...I haven't ever heard her so quiet!

 

Thea figured out how to make the ball toy go all on her own, and she was so proud of herself, she didn't bother to watch it go, she looked right at me as if to say, "see mommy, I can do it!"

Christmas Crafting

 I have a general routine that I follow on my at home days.  We tend to have breakfast and watch cartoons in the morning, and then when Thea goes down for her first nap Leila and I will work on a craft, or we will bake something. Then lunch and cartoons (yes, I realize we watch too much TV)  During Thea's afternoon nap I usually set up Leila to color or do play doh so I can have some quiet time.  Since it is pretty cold these days, we don't get out much to the library and park like during the warmer months, so I try to put some thought into our crafting activities.  I want Leila to look forward to our days at home.

I have been planning to share some of the things that I did with Leila over the last few weeks, but I wanted to wait until after Christmas, since some of the "projects" were gifts.  Here are some of the things we have been up to.

I picked up some cardboard ornaments from Hobby Lobby for Leila to paint.  We got three of them, and the plan was, one for our tree, one for Grandma Lori and Papa Carey, and one for Grandma Sandi and Papa Ed.  I forgot to give them though, so I packed them up with my tree...expect them next year Grandmas! :)

The week before Christmas I picked up a foam floral supply cone, and we used some felt from our craft supply arsenal to put this tree together.  The decorations are simple push pins so aside from hot gluing the star on toy, Leila was able to do most of this project herself!

The last project I am going to share was a biggie.  For the daycare providers I always try to come up with a gift that they will enjoy, that doesn't cost too much, since we have lots of people who care for our daughters in a daycare center.  This year we had 13 people that we wanted to gift.   I also like to give gifts that Leila can help with.  This year I got an idea from a message board friend to make layered jar gifts.  We made each one of the daycare providers a cookie mix and a soup mix.  It ended up costing a bit more than I had hoped, as the soup had a couple of more expensive ingredients, but it was still a manageable cost, and Leila enjoyed helping, and delivering the gifts that we had made.

 

 

 

I am not planning to post the recipes, but I will if requested.

Merry Christmas

I have lots of things that I have planned on putting up on my blog lately, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet.  I am tired, exhausted really, but enjoying this day, and reflecting on memories of Thea's first Christmas, and Leila's first Christmas of really "getting" everything and being excited for Santa. 
Christmas Eve is a really really long day for us, but once again we went through our routine of prepping the house and making food for Cory's side of the family celebration. After dinner with the Coobs' we all ventured out in the cold rain to Christmas Eve church services.  This year was the first year that I can remember that I had the pleasure of looking down my pew at church and seeing the faces of every one of my siblings along with my parents and Cory's family, and it really brought me a lot of pleasure to be there with all of these people that I love so much, sharing my favorite church service of the year. 
After the readings and discussion of Luke 2, our church has a candlelit singing of Silent Night to end the evening.  This year sweet Leila even held her own candle and stared at it intensely, during a rare calm Leila moment.
I woke up not feeling well on Christmas Morning, really not well.  I don't know what it was, maybe the combination of too much food and not enough sleep, but I had to take a break and rest before we could move on to Christmas at the Howard house.  Thankfully we made it out and had a great day.  I will post some pictures, but right now I am recovering from clearing our driveway and the neighbors of this mornings snow, and reflecting on my lovely family while Cory and Leila build a castle with leila's new blocks and I can't bring myself to get up and go find the camera!
Our girls are both so excited for their presents.  Leila got everything she asked for aside for the real horse (no surprise there) and the dominoes! I was so sure that she would get lots of them since she told EVERYONE that she wanted them...I guess everyone else had the same idea but Leila hasn't mentioned them and I am thinking she forgot she asked for them to begin with. 
Thea got some really cute toys that make all kinds of noise, and she seems to really like watching them in action. 
My girls looked so beautiful in their Christmas dresses and seeing their happy faces has brought me so much joy this holiday season.  But of course, today is the day after Christmas and if you drive by my house, you will see that Christmas tree sitting out by the curb! :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Uncle Clay

came to visit, and we all got to enjoy some Clay-time which always includes grocery discussions and lots of non-sense.  Do you think these girls like Uncle Clay?

 

Santa

We took Leila and Thea to see Santa the other night with the Smith family.  Leila wasn't scared of him at all and walked right up to him and told him that she wanted a music box.  I guess her mind has changed since we first started asking her. 
One thing that surprises me is that even though Leila watches TV.  And I mean way too much TV, she hasn't asked for any specific toys, I don't think she even knows what a Zhu Zhu pet is.
Aunt Donna is taking care of the music box, so Santa is bringing the bean bag chair that I hope she still wants.  Of course, there is more than that, but I am not sure what all we give Santa credit for. 
Here is Thea with Daddy while we waited our turn for Santa:

Here are the babies with Santa!

 

 

We went to South Slope to see the big guy, and it was nice!  They had cartoons on a big screen and coloring pages while we waited.  Each kid got a bag with fruit and candy, it reminded me of my own Santa meetings at the fire station in Tabor.

Nine Months!

Today Thea had her 9 month well baby check up.  She got her booster for the H1N1 vaccine and barely cried at all.  Thankfully Leila was able to get her booster of the mist as well and she also did awesome...the first dose didn't go as well but with Cory there to help, she was calm and happy to escape a shot!

Thea weighed in at 23 pounds, 14 ounces and is 30 1/2 inches tall.  She is a big beautiful girl and aside from a bit of a yeast infection that we need to get under control, all is well.

What do you do when you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and under-effective? I usually cry and feel sorry for myself. Sometimes I bake.




Chocolate Chip Banana Bread...this recipe is so good, and it uses apple sauce instead of oil and not too much butter, so you don't have to feel bad about the chocolate chips! Here is a picture of my loaf, cooling on the stove.



I found this recipe at www.tastykitchen.com

Ingredients:




1 cup Mashed Bananas (2-3 Whole Bananas)

4 Tablespoons Butter, Softened

¼ cups Apple Butter Or Applesauce

2 whole Eggs

2 Tablespoons Milk

¾ cups Lightly Packed Brown Sugar

1-¾ cup Flour (sneak Some Wheat Flour In, Nobody Will Know)

2 teaspoons Baking Powder

½ teaspoons Baking Soda

¼ teaspoons Salt

¾ cups Chocolate Chips

¼ cups Chopped Walnuts (optional)
Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Smash the bananas until they’re broken up but not completely smooth. Some lumps are OK.

Add in the butter, apple butter, eggs, milk, and brown sugar. Blend with a hand mixer until everything is incorporated. Again, small lumps are OK.

In a separate bowl, sift the dry ingredients.

Add the dry ingredients to the banana mixture and mix gently with a spoon. When all the flour is mixed in, add your chocolate chips and walnuts.

Spray your loaf pan with cooking spray, and pour in the batter. Bake until golden and a toothpick/piece of dry spaghetti comes out clean, about 60 minutes.

Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and cool to room temperature.




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Yes, it was a particularly rough morning, so along with the Chocolate Crinkle batter I have chilling in the fridge for later, I also made these awesome cookies.

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My friend Jessica from work passed this recipe on, and I made them today, though I am not a walnut fan so I used pecans instead (YUM!). I am thinking I may stick some in the freezer for Christmas Eve dessert, if not, they will surely be eaten quickly!




Santa’s Helpers




Servings: Makes about 2 dozen cookies

Preparation time: About 20 minutes

Baking time: About 15 minutes per batch




Ingredients:

1 ½ cups firmly packed brown sugar, divided

¼ sour cream

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts

½ cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

½ teaspoon baking soda

¼ teaspoon salt

24 walnut halves for garnish, optional




Preheat oven to 350˚. In small bowl, stir together ½ cup brown sugar, sour cream, and cinnamon until smooth. Stir in chopped walnuts; set aside. In medium-sized bowl, with electric mixer at medium speed, cream butter and 1 cup brown sugar. Add egg and vanilla; beat until light and fluffy. With mixer on low speed, gradually add dry ingredients, beating just until smooth. Divide dough into quarters. From each quarter into 6 equal balls; place balls 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. With fingertip, make a wide, round depression in the center of each cookie, reaching almost to the edge and leaving a rim. Fill depressions in cookies with walnut mixture, mounding above the rims. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until filling is set. Cool cookies on wire racks. Garnish each cookie with walnut half, if desired.

Sister love

Just melts my heart...Thank God for these two!

Simple Christmas

I do not like Christmas.  It is too expensive, it is stressful, it is too much work and it introduces too much clutter into my already cluttered house.
I really didn't want to get a tree this year, but I didn't  considered not having a tree of some kind for very long, and I am so glad we got one.  I would call it a compromise because we did get a tree, and it is a real tree, but it is also about 3 feet high.  I am actually really happy with it.  It was easy to decorate and Leila could help without any trouble.  It hardly takes up any space at all, and we can put it on our breakfast bar and avoid Thea trying to pull up on it.
As an added bonus, while Leila and I decorated the other day, she said, "I love our tree.  This is the best Christmas EVER."  As much as I don't like Christmas, I adore the excitement that Leila shows.  Not just for the tree and the presents to come from Santa, but for making cookies together and best of all, for time spent with family.  I am a family girl and so far, Leila is undeniably taking after her momma.  I can't imagine a trait of mine that I would more like her to have.

So this year, in order to focus on Leila's joy and excitement for the season and reduce my own stress, unhappiness and financial burden, Christmas has been scaled back in all of the less important ways.  I don't need a big tree, I don't need a lot of gifts.  We have tried to pick something thoughtful for those closest to us without breaking the bank. And though in past years I have made a lot of gifts, I just haven't had time or space to sew, so even our homemade gifts are being scaled back. (Though I plan to post about the gifts that Leila and I will be making for the daycare staff.)  I am not going to worry about spending "enough" on each gift.  I am not even going to stress about how much my gifts will be enjoyed.   

For me it is not even so much about refocusing on the reason for Christmas, because I think I have that down and am working on it with Leila.  It is much more about taking the self imposed pressure to please off of myself.  I already know that a three foot tall tree means the best Christmas ever to my most important critic, even if the house across the street may have a 9 footer.

 

 

And here is the only other Holiday decorations I bothered with this year.

speaking of sister love

I dig these chicks.

My Thea Girl

It is all going by so fast...When Thea was born I thought she looked a whole lot like her sister.  Nearly 9 months later the similarities aren't nearly as obvious, but they are still there.  Mostly in the big full baby cheeks and sweet baby hand gestures that I remember so fondly from the first time around.  My Thea has a look of her own, that I think is mostly to her Daddy's credit, though the nose is all me.  Well all me, and my dad and my Grandma Dalene.  Her eyes are a beautiful color of green/hazel/brown.  Like Cory's, only a shade or two darker.  It is a color I haven't seen before, and I like. 

This evening Thea was exploring, crawling around while I was making dinner and as she ventured into the kitchen Cory followed behind her calling out, "Thea, where do you think you are going!?" And as he closed in on her she took off faster with a sweet baby giggle.  What a big grown up girl!

This past couple of weeks have seemed to age her quite a bit, she has started giving kisses, if she is in the mood and you ask her she will stick out her tongue and come right in for a big wet one! 

We have been doing baby sign language with her for some time, but the one sign that she has quickly picked up on and will return is the sign for dog, which usually comes along with a loud "Da!"  Thea really likes Zoey...Zoey really likes to lick Thea's ears and then run away before she loses a handful of fur.

Though she still isn't sleeping very well, normally waking up 2-4 times a night to nurse back to sleep, I can't help but forgive that sweet little face for my lack of sleep.  At least she is a great cuddle bug...just don't let her snuggle in too much or she will take a bite, and believe me, it hurts!

As Leila was walking around the living room today, attempting to keep my shoes from sliding off of her cute little feet she announced, "I am a Mommy!"

I asked her, "Are you are good Mommy?"

"Yes Momma, I am!"

"What makes a good Mommy, Leila?"

"I don't know, but I sure love you!"

I needed that today.  I sure love her too.

And just because her cuteness is under represented today

Ignore the shiny nose of a baby with a cold...

Thea is our little exploradora, unless she is tired and wants to be held, she is happy to be left on the floor with a room full of toys.  I love to sit and watch her move from item to item checking them out...I wish I could read her little mind...

Leila's accomplishment

Leila has been really into spelling lately, and she loves to type on the computer.  Of course there are a lot of tricks to spelling correctly in the English language, and Cory and I are never sure if we should correct her when she spells things wrong, but phonetically.  We decided that for now, phonetically will do because we don't want to discourage her.  The other night she spelled, "CATRPILR" and this one she was especially proud of, so we took a picture, "DADE"

Leila's Thankgiving

Love-A-Lot (The girl's daycare) has a Thanksgiving tradition of hosting a turkey lunch for all of the kids and the parents of the bigger kids.  This is the 2nd year that Leila's group was included and so Cory and I took a long lunch on Tuesday to go have lunch with Leila.  The kids sang a couple of songs that Leila refused to participate in, and then the teacher read off each child's Thanksgiving letter.  They got to choose who to write to, and what to say.  They also had each child make themselves a placemat with a collage of their favorite foods.

Here is Leila's letter to Mommy:

If you can't read it, it says, "Dear Mommy, I am thankful for no one biting me because I don't like anyone biting me."  Thea has been biting a lot lately, I guess Leila is thankful that Mom and Dad have been the only ones on the receiving end of those chomps....so far.

Leila's placemat.  Notice how she wrote her own name?! and the foods are pretty accurate...pop tarts, ice cream, some fruit, candy and chicken nuggets.  If there was a PBJ on there, it would about sum up her entire diet.

Thankfulness

Of course this is the time of year that we all are conditioned to reflect on what we are most thankful for.  I like to think that I am the kind of person who completes this reflection exercise more regularly than during that annual turkeyfest, but there is something about the spirit of Thanksgiving that requires deeper thought and feeling.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the continued health of my family, my 2009 blessing who is now 8 months old and into everything, my three year old sassy/stubborn/brilliant blessing est. 2006.  I am thankful for my loving husband, who does so much to keep me sane and all of us happy and well taken care of. I am thankful for my in-laws, who created and nurtured him into the wonderful man that he is.  I am thankful for my parents for so many many reasons, but number 1 would have to be the amazingly loving family that they raised me in.  They set the bar high and I strive to love my children as they always have loved us, and instill the same kind of loving friendship among my children that I have with my siblings.
My friend Vaike who passed away just a couple of months ago once posted on our message board about a radio show that she listened to.  There was a story on there about a man who had created such love around him, that his children just wanted to be with him.  As Vaike said, he had created a legacy of love.  She had hoped to be able to leave that legacy for her family, and I think she did.  I can tell you that my Grandmother left that legacy, and my parents are living that dream right now.
  I am so thankful for each of my sisters, and my brother.  I couldn't imagine better friends.  I am thankful for Andrea and the family that she has built.  Steve and Sawyer and soon to be baby sibling Smith are a continuation of my own family, and I am so glad that my girls will have the Smith children to grow up with, so even though I can't manage to have the large family that my parents did, my kids won't lose out on growing up around lots of other kiddos!
I am so Thankful for my family beyond the immediate people that I get to spend my day to day with.  I have so many Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins that are not only family, but people that I consider friends.  The love in my life is overflowing my heart and I feel so immensely blessed beyond any reward I could have possibly earned. 
I am Thankful for the internet, to keep me in contact with those that I don't get to be close to in miles.  I am thankful for the opportunity that I have to look at new homes for my family that will more than suffice in space and aesthetics. I am thankful for DVRed cartoons, which helps me through the days after the nights without rest, and Diet Dr. Pepper.  Oh what would I do without you?

I hope that you all have just as many or more blessings to count this holiday season.  Now on to Christmas.  I am not interested in getting out the decorations this year as we are trying to declutter and get our house ready to sell, but with a 3 year old in the house, I feel it is my duty. We won't be doing it this weekend though, maybe next week? Ugh.

Interview with a princess

What is your favorite food?
Peanut Butter and Jelly!

What is your favorite thing to do with mommy?
Play with Thea

What is your favorite thing to do with daddy?
when he tickles me


What is the most fun thing you have ever done?
Go on PopPop's boat.  If I go on the front of the boat, I am very brave!

What is your favorite day of the week?
Mommy days (Wednesday and Friday), because I get to play

What do you like about Thea?
I like to say boo to her, she laughs

Do you like being a big sister?
Yes, because I like to chew on toys

What is your favorite animal?
Elephants because they have a long trunk and floppy ears.

Who is your best friend?
You are

What do you want for Christmas?
A balloon.

Do you have anything else you want to share?
I don't know how to ride a bike.
I love to go to a hotel and see the pool.
I love to go on the boat and I love to stay with my daddy
I want to play a game on your computer.

8 Months!

Yes, very late...Thea turned 8 months old on Friday the 13th!  Look at my big girl! I had to give up on the paper signs this month.  She was not allowing it to sit by her, she wanted to eat it.

And this is what happened about one half of a second after took that picture

Neglect, of a different kind

Yesterday I decided to spend my lunch time at Old Navy in search for red Christmas tights for Leila.  As I was walking around the store BY MYSELF I was reminded of what it is like to be out of the house, not at work and also without someone attached to you.  As I roamed the store looking at all of the adorable winter clothes for girls I thought about my own girls and how fast they were growing out of their own clothes. Leila is very close to being too big to shop for in the baby girls section of the store, and to me, that feels very premature.

My kids are so cute, and interesting and funny.  I should know this, I spend a lot of time with them, as it should be.  But if I am completely honest about it, maybe just a little bit too much.  It is the classic mommy guilt conundrum.  I love my kids, I feel like I should be the one that is with them whenever possible...but that 30 minutes alone in Old Navy felt a little bit too foreign to me, if you know what I mean.  I am uncomfortable even typing this, because it doesn't seem right to me, but in the last 8 months I have attended a football game with my husband and friends and spent about 2 hours at a party with work friends, without Cory.  I am not complaining, but I guess I kind of am...can you feel my guilt seeping through the screen? :)

I miss my husband, I miss myself.  I miss a full nights sleep, and eating without having to hold anyone down or beg anyone to try their dinner.

It is not for a lack of baby sitters or opportunity that I find myself in this predicament.  I have had offers, and I almost always turn them down.  I think it is my competitive nature that keeps me running this marathon without a break...I know other mom and dads have date nights, time for each other and time for themselves, but I get some kind of sick satisfaction in going on doing everything without a break.  Kind of like the baby nursing...I don't enjoy nursing, I would adore the ability to go out and not worry about pumping, but this is what is best for my kid, and I will stick it out if it means I pump at home between feedings to make sure there is enough milk to get us through the week.

Why do I do this?  I claim competitive nature, but part of me thinks that now I have an excuse for being short with my 3 year old, or letting her watch too many cartoons.  Not reading and interacting with my 8 month old as much as I probably should.  If I took better care of myself, I might have to admit that I am just naturally not a good mother, and that thought scares me.  Even if I did get away, I would spend the whole time missing them.  One of the torturous realities of motherhood.

I wish I could be one of those fun witty bloggers with a huge following who can stay at home and collect advertiser money to pay for my life, but then I read over the gloomy crap I write and I realize, I had better keep my day job.

Bella!

Much to my dad's chagrin, mom brought home a new baby kitten from Grandpa Warren's farm.  When she called from the road to tell us to put Zoey outside, I knew right away why.  Zoey would eat a kitten if given the opportunity.  Little Bella is quite cute, and this coming from a not cat person.  Leila loves her.

 

Party Time!

Last weekend we all traveled to Lincoln, NE for my cousin Brandon's wedding reception.  The kids were very excited to have a party to go to, and they had a great time.  Leila was totally enthralled by Polly in her wedding dress.  She has this wonderful enchanted look in her eyes when you talk about weddings.  She loves to get to go to princess parties, and nothing says princess like a wedding dress!  I recently pulled my dress out of the closet and tried it on for her, she was very excited! Thea got to meet her Grandma Lorna for the first time!

Leila enjoyed dancing...Dancing with the bride, dancing with her cousin Andrew, Dancing with Momma, Dancing with Daddy...you get the picture.  She had a busy night!

 

 

 

Thea was tired just thinking about it