Just over 36 weeks pregnant, and a bonus!

Leila trying on her new dress!

I keep coming here...

wanting to unload some of the things I have been thinking about, but I guess I am just not ready to spill my guts yet. Part of it is work related, and I don't want to say anything until everything is solidified. Part of it is spiritual, and I think I am still digesting. For now I will say that, particularly if you are a woman, and you are looking for a book to really make you think your relationship with God and what that means for your own self-esteem, give "The Apple You Were Fed"
a try.

I have been working on it for a few months...it is one of those books that is so full of thought provoking ideas, that I can't read very much of it at a time. It is kind of like a very rich dessert...if you have too much of it, it doesn't taste as good. Anyway, it is really making me think about myself and how my own feelings about myself reflect on my relationship with God. I am sure I will have more to say about it soon, but for now I am slowly enjoying my rich dessert and mentally preparing myself for the profound changes that are just around the bend.

As far as the family goes, we are all doing really well. I have been sick a lot this month, having a couple of really scary migraines with aura that I had never experienced before, along with a couple of sinus infections. Last weekend we capped off a lovely January with a whole round of stomach flu for the whole family. That was very rough, but Cory proved once again what a wonderful husband and father he is as he took care of Leila and I through our illnesses. He went so far as to sleep in Leila's bed with her and hold her little bucket for her when she was sick...it is no wonder that Daddy is her best friend.
Leila has been doing pretty well. She is very close to being potty trained, though for some reason lately she really resists sitting on the potty unless it is her idea. She doesn't have many accidents, but we aren't totally in the clear yet. I am sure that she will backslide some when her little sibling arrives too, but we really aren't in a big rush, so we shall see. Leila is also loving the TV a little too much. With the cold weather it is really hard to find things we can do, especially on the week nights when we really don't have a lot of time to spare either...that is when we end up watching the same repeated episodes of the Care Bears from our DVR. She LOVES the Care Bears.
Cory has been pretty busy with work. He essentially has two jobs right now, and one of them is a real challenge. Not only is it something that he isn't very familiar with, but it is a project that he inherited that was already over budget and over schedule. Not a great place to be. Hopefully that project will be all finished before the new baby arrives and he will be back down to one job!
We are all looking forward to Spring and more time outside, and enjoying getting to know our new baby.
I hope all is well with everyone out in cyberspace...stay warm! :)

Winter's one redeeming quality

The ability to SLED! Not that I can sled with this basketball I am carting around under my shirt. I was given picture duty. We went down by our church and Leila and Daddy took a few trips down the hill.








And of course, snow angels!

You might be surprised to hear this, but we actually did celebrate Christmas at our house. Yep. We even took some pictures. I might even post some someday.

So I was taking a quick look at my blog history and I realized that January is a notoriously low blogging month for me. There is a pretty good reason for that. If I spent as much time blogging in January as I do in the warmer months, no one would ever read it because all I would do is complain about the nasty weather and my hatred for old man winter.

I was looking through some old pictures on Facebook the other day and totally jonesing for a summer boating trip to Missouri (Which we are booked for again this summer, August 1st-8th, YEAH!) and I had a thought I wanted to blog about. I didn't actually get around to it, but the gist of it is that time goes by too quickly. One day you are looking at a newborn squishy faced baby girl who is only interested in eating, sleeping, and crying and then the next you are sitting next to a little girl on the couch when she tells you, "Actually Mommy, I would like macaroni and cheese, ok?"

Remember back when Leila was a fat faced little toddler with boy hair? yeah, me too and it makes me a little misty eyed to think about it today.
As this nasty cold front comes over us I am trying to remind myself that two months from now when I am holding my new little squishy baby this cold disgusting day will be nothing but a distant memory of what life used to be like.

Stay warm!

The post where all I do is complain.

I think that if you looked really closely, you would see steam coming out of my ears. I had some pretty big goals for today, and as I look around my house I am realizing how impossible it will be to accomplish what I was hoping for.
Two months remain before we add another person to our household and I don't have a clue where to put this person or any of the gazillion things that will no doubt come along with him/her.
Today I thought I would get my room cleaned and organized and my great room back in order after the holidays, and I am finding myself feeling totally overwhelmed. If you aren't familiar with my house, we have a great room and two bedrooms on the main level and family room and 3rd bedroom on the lower level.
Baby number two really has no place, he/she will be sleeping in our room, and the gear will be going into Leila's room. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. There is no room left in the inn. My great room is really a toy room. There are toys everywhere. Leila's room...again, toys everywhere. Her closet and dress are stuffed with books/toys/clothes. No room for baby.
I am having a bad day, there isn't any doubt about that as I try to lug my fat pregnant self around and make sense of this cluttered mess, I am feeling totally out of control of my world. I can't even begin to think about labor, delivery, the fact my breech baby won't turn, or trying to recover and take care of a difficult toddler. I think the walls are closing in, maybe that is why it looks like the toys are taking over.

Snow is falling all around!

Leila and our first real Christmas tree coming home from the lot!


Since Cory and I didn't really know what we were doing setting up the stand and getting the tree all set up, so Leila took the lead.







I think she did a good job, it turned out great!





These are from Leila's concert, the one of her class is really dark and hard to see, but there wasn't much to see anyway. Leila covered her face with her hands...when that didn't make the crowd disappear, she pulled her dress up over her face. The teacher wouldn't have that though and pulled her dress back down. So she resorted to crying. We really didn't know what to expect, but as I told Cory, she is my daughter so I can't be too surprised by this... My dad later reinforced my comment by telling Cory that Leila comes from a long line of hiders.





Mommy and Leila in front of our Christmas tree. This was after Leila's daycare program.



Grandma Lori and Leila decorated cookies together on Grandma day. Leila is a big fan of frosting.




Leila and I made presents for her daycare teachers. Leila's job was to fill the pillows with the rice/beans/lavender mixture. While she was loading up her spoon Cory took a picture and told her to look at Daddy. You can see she had a hard time multitasking :)

I am the luckiest...

This was the thought that crossed my mind this morning while I was sitting in my car eating powdered donettes while Cory scraped the ice off of my windows.

A Year in 10

A challenge for all of you fellow bloggers. Pick 10 pictures that tell the story of YOUR 2008. No words, just pictures! This is harder than you may think...

A stroll down memory lane

So yesterday instead of heading into the office I attend a seminar at the University. So much about the experience reminded me of my college days, and really made me feel old. The day started off with a reminder of my least favorite thing about being a student...having to walk to classes in the freezing cold. The seminar was held in the Business building, where Cory and I both spent a lot of time during our stay at the University. Cory majored in Business, Management Information Systems, and I have a business minor.
Walking around that building brought back so many memories, some good, some not so good. It was a strange experience, but I did really like the break in routine and gawking at the many students because of what they find to be appropriate to wear outside of their apartments. :)
The Seminar was called Managing Projects and Priorities. One of those things that I do to help me reach the requirements to get my Project Management certification. It was a good course, though there was a little tangent about values that I found to be kind of depressing. The speaker told us that you need to evaluate what your values are. What are the most important things to you. Once you know your values, you need to make sure that everyday you are doing work that matches your values, and once you get there, you have a legitimate claim of possessing inner peace. Huh. If I have to spend my days doing work that is motivated by my values, I am never going to find inner peace, though I am not sure anyone ever truly does.
Which brings me to my after seminar activities. So, the seminar was over at 3:30, and Leila is used to getting picked up at 4:45 so I figured this was a perfect opportunity for me to check out a store downtown that I had been meaning to visit. I will just refer to the store as, "the dream crusher." A couple of ladies decided to open this store in Iowa City. The store sells designer fabrics, patterns and yarn. They have a studio space where people can rent time on a sewing machine and classes are offered. They also have a small cafe where you can buy drinks and baked goods. The reason I have given the store such an endearing nickname is that for a several years I have had a dream to open a store that sells designer fabrics, has a small cafe, studio space and offers classes. I don't really care about yarn so I guess they have me there. Oh, and it wasn't that impressive, not nearly enough fabric selection, and I would have a place for kids to hang out and also allow for local seamstresses to sell their products too. Oh well.

So I was thinking that I should post some pictures of my baby belly, but so far pictures haven't happened, trust me when I say it is looking pretty obvious these days. Sooner or later I will get to that. As well as pictures of our families very first real Christmas tree...one of these days.

Pea in the Podcast

Not long after Leila was born, a friend of mine from my mommy message board asked me to participate in a podcast interview. I thought it sounded like fun and now Bonnie's podcast series, as well as her blog are live and available! Bonnie is a journalist in the Houston Texas area and another great momma who have I have enjoyed sharing the experience of parenting little girls with.

If you are pregnant, thinking about becoming pregnant or the mom of a small child you may learn something from Bonnie, so check her out here:

http://www.peainthepodcast.com/blog/

And as a special bonus, if you listen to the pod cast's you will get to hear my interview!

A conversation over dinner tonight...

Leila: Daddy, did you make this macaroni and cheese for me?
Daddy: Yes I did
Leila: Mommy, did you make anything on my plate for me?
Mommy: Not this time, Daddy made everything on your plate.
Leila: Oh, Thanks Daddy, you are the best!
Daddy: You are welcome Leila, YOU are the best.
Leila: I'm not the best, I'm the sweetest. You're the best Daddy!

No!

I am writing this blog post a week removed from the day of incident. As I sit here now on the couch I am under a blanket I am sharing with Leila while I blog and she watches Sponge Bob. Right now, it seems kind of stupid to rehash in my mind a day when I felt a lot less impressed with my daughter, but then I think...I made this blog to share the good, the bad and the ugly, so get ready for some ugly.


Every Tuesday Cory works in Cedar Rapids and Leila and I are on our own for drop off/ pick up at daycare. Last Tuesday when I walked into Leila's classroom she greeted me with the usual giant hug and beautiful smile...the highlight of my day. From there it went down hill.
Mommy: Come on Leila, lets put your coat on and go home.
Leila: No
Mommy: Leila, Daddy and Zoey are at home waiting for us, we can't go until you put your coat on.
Leila: No!
Mommy: Do you want to go to see Baby Sawyer tonight?
Leila: Yes!
Mommy: Ok then, put your coat on.
Leila: No

Next came me leading Leila out to the main hallway at Love-A-Lot and trying to force her coat onto her arms. She threw herself on the floor and cried and kicked and screamed. I picked her up and managed to force her arms into her coat. As I held her in my arms I had never been so angry at her. Now, I know that some people spank their kids, and if that works for you, fine. We are not spankers, though at that moment I have never wanted to spank her so badly in my life. I got her into her car seat, where she stiffened up her back and refused to let me buckle her in. I slammed the door shut, got in the front seat and called Cory. I didn't expect him to do anything about it, but I really wanted to bitch about the situation, and Leila wasn't exactly good company at the time. By the time I got off the phone Cory had diffused me a little bit and as it turns out, Leila had calmed down as well. She said, "Mommy, I am ready to go now, buckle me." I got out and buckled her in, and as I pulled away from school I started to cry, and I cried all the way home. I hate hate hated the way I felt toward my own child. Thinking about it now still makes me really sad, especially as I see her sweet, calm little face sitting next to me. As we were driving home and I am crying Leila says to me, "Why are you sad mommy? I will give you a hug." That only made it worse.

The terrible twos are exactly that. Couple that with a mad case of pregnancy hormones, and the fact that Leila seems to inherited my temper and things are rough going at the Coobs' House. You should all feel very bad for Cory.

Halloween! I am behind posting this, are you really surprised?

We didn't take any pictures Halloween night, but here is Leila testing out her "black scary kitty" costume. She was very frightening, just ask Cassie.
Halloween afternoon we drove to Champaign, IL to visit Cory's brother and family. We got there in time for Uncle Evan to give Leila a lesson in trick or treating, and then we took her out around their neighborhood.
She froze up as soon as we would get to the door at nearly every house we went to. As we approached she would say, "I am going to say trick or treat!" and then the door would open and she was like a deer in headlights. Better luck next year, and she still managed to get plenty of treats!
She was so funny though, when we saw people dressed up in scary costumes she would say, "That's not scary, that is just a fox." During our whole trick or treating adventure she kept repeating it. "That was a nice fox we saw, he wasn't scary." The nice fox she was referringn to was a pretty mean and nasty looking wolf, but she worked very hard to convince herself that he wasn't scary :)








The next day we went to a tailgate and then to the Iowa vs. Illinois football game. Leila enjoyed the tailgate. As you can see from the pictures she tried to take a little rest and she also stuffed her face with grapes. She was terrible during the game. She and I watched it from the concourse because she refused to sit in the bleachers.

This morning

I woke up to Leila standing by my bedside. I said to her, "Leila, Barack Obama won, he is the new president!" She gave me a high-five. We rolled into work, and even though it hadn't rained there was a rainbow in the sky. No, I am serious, ask Cory. Today I am so proud of America, proud of Iowa and just down right giddy. God Bless America.

Baby Coobs' film debute

A couple of Leila tidbits

I have have written about this one before, but just in case...Everyday when we drive home from work we go by a construction site. When Leila sees it she always says, "Look at that mess! They need to clean it up!"

Last week I made a butternut squash, call it a weird craving, but I just had to have it. So we have squash for dinner and Leila wanted nothing to do with it. I tried to convince her to try it by telling her about how she used to love it when she was a baby! Ever since then she occasionally breaks out with this, "When I was a little girl, I used to eat squash!" I think it is so funny to hear her say, as if she isn't a little girl anymore...what a funny little sweetheart she is.

The Shack

So my sister Andrea convinced me to read The Shack, and in the process ruined a whole day for me.
I started it on Monday night and cried like a baby... I can't think of anything more awful than what happened in that book. I pretty much had to skim most of it because it was so unbearable, and even at that I sobbed myself to sleep. It was very icky.
So Tuesday night I decided to further punish my hormonal mind by finishing the book. Day two was better, I still cried, but there was a lot of good stuff too. I like to read about people's interpretations of God and of the afterlife. This one felt pretty true to my own thoughts and I liked that. I just wish the author had used a less horrifying example of loss to help make his point about grief. It was too much for me, and therefore it was very difficult for me to get to the good stuff. Some things that I did get out of the book that I appreciated:
1. God has hopes and plans for us, but we have free will and he won't stand in the way of our decisions, even if they aren't the best.
2. God loves all of his children, but he gave us this earth and now we have to learn to share it, and if we can't get along, too bad.
3. Even when the really bad things happen, trust in God's love for you and know that when it is all said and done, you will live in heaven, where there is no evil and in the meantime God will do his best to make good come out of bad as long we are here on earth.

All interesting points, but for me personally, it wasn't worth going through this man's experience of losing his daughter in such a violent way. So the gist is, I don't recommend it unless you have a high tolerance for sadness or are easily able to separate yourself from characters in a book. I am not one of those people.

In fact, I am pretty much unable to separate myself from people I work with, people I read about in the newspaper, people I have befriended over the internet, or just about anyone else in this world. I have been this way for as long as I can remember, but I have to say that having a child makes this so much worse for me. Compassion is a good thing, but whatever I have goes a little too far. I read the book to help me feel better about some things that have been causing me sadness. I didn't really get that but I am working to trust in God to take care of those that I don't know, but I know are hurting so I can concentrate on counting the many blessings I have. This is very hard for me but I am praying for strength and guidance to let go.

Mortality

I saw a commercial for this show once, I don't remember for sure what the show was called, but the scene stuck out in my mind. A woman asks a man, "Why do people have to die?" and his response is, "To make life valuable."
As a Christian, I know that I am supposed to look at death as a gift. A passport to a world that is better than earth, where you don't read everyday on cnn.com about pain and suffering, but instead spend all of eternity in God's presence with no regard for the work you have to get done and the deadlines you have to make. It sounds pretty good, but then, why is death so hard to deal with?
Heavy topic for a mommy blog I know, but unfortunately this topic has dominated my thoughts all week. I don't really want to get into the sad details of why that is, but suffice it to say that I am having a hard time dealing with the question, "why do people have to die?" I know very well why death seems so sad and scary to me. It is permanent. No more hugging your babies, no more reading them books. No more late night conversations in bed with your husband. I don't understand how someone could choose to give that up. But it happens, and it makes me incredibly sad.
Even sadder is not having a choice. Either way death is hard, and life can sometimes be harder. I am grateful to be be able to see how valuable life is.
I think this world is the sad place that it is for a reason, I believe that the sadness and trials of earth are here to help us do a better job as angels someday. I hope I am right.
I wish I could heal all of the hurt and then turn off my mind for a while.

Pumpkin Time Fun!

My wonderful family. I am so blessed.

The cutest pumpkins in the patch!!


Tasting the apples!


Uncle Steve's job was manning the apple picker

Daddy and Leila walking through the apple trees

Andrea and Sawyer getting settled in for the walk around the orchard


Leila and Sawyer enjoying the picnic from the back of the Equinox :)

Kellie's wedding

Two weekends ago we made a trip to Lincoln, NE for my cousin Kellie's wedding. We had a really nice time. I think Leila had the best time of all. Not only did she get to swim in a hotel swimming pool but she also got to dance the night away at the reception.
When we got to the wedding she immediately noticed the cake and had to take a look. I think while we were waiting for the wedding to start Cory had to carry her over to look at the "birthday cake" three or four times. We had to keep a close eye on her or she would have attacked the thing I am sure! The grooms cake had fish on and Leila said that it was a big scary shark.
So we sat down in our seats and Cory was explaining to Leila what we were about to see. He told her that when you get married you get a ring and he showed her his ring, and I showed her mine.
So the wedding gets started and Leila is standing on her seat and she says loudly enough that all of our row could hear her, "I am going to get married and then I will get a ring right here!" As she held up her hand in the air. Too funny.
I wish that I could figure out how to get my video's to upload without taking FOREVER so I could show you Leila dances moves, but for some reason our internet doesn't want to work very fast for me so you will have to settle for pictures!





On our way back home on Sunday we stopped in Tabor to see our Howard family. My Aunt and Uncle had a house fire on Friday afternoon. I didn't take any pictures of the house, but the fire was devastating and this week the house will be torn down to start over. Thankfully a lot of their belongings were salvaged, including most of the family pictures. I will be thinking of them as they start putting everything back together and begin moving on.