Today was day one of all underwear, all the time. So far, not so great. Pee is no problem at all, but for some reason pooping on the potty chair is totally out of the question. She went through 3 pairs of underwear today. Pray that we make it through the week.
One year has passed by us since that Friday last fall when my Grandma Dalene passed into Heaven. I don't believe that a single day has gone by when I haven't thought of her. Sometimes it is a warm memory that brings a smile to my face, and sometimes it is a pang at my heart to know that I can't share something with her, but still, she is never far from my mind and always a part of my heart.
When I came home from the time we spent in Tabor last year saying goodbye to Grandma I had a note in the mail from my mother-in-law Sandi. In it she included the For Better or Worse cartoon from the Thursday paper, one day before my grandma passed away, September 13th, 2007.
Leila was so little when Grandma died, she won't remember knowing her, she won't remember her hugs. We have pictures of her around our home, and she can pick her out of a picture and knows that is her Grandma, but she will never know her like I hoped she would.
Leila loved the horse that hung in Grandma's kitchen, and when we were visiting last July Grandma took down the horse and told me to take it home for Leila to have. That horse is hanging inside my front door, so we all see it everyday when we leave and come home. Taped to the back of the horse is the cartoon that Sandi gave to me.
Hanging in the classroom at Love A Lot is a little questionnaire about all of the kids in yellow group. Leila's says that she has brown hair, and blue eyes (not so much).
Next comes the statement, "I live in a... car." Yep, she told her teacher that she lives in the car. We do spend a fair amount of time in there, but come on!? Next comes, "When I grow I want to be... like Daddy." That is our Leila...offer some comic relief and melt your heart all in one swoop.
I have a doctor's appointment this week on Thursday. We should get to hear the heartbeat for the first time--as far as the doctor knows anyway. I am one of those paranoid people who has my own at home dopler so I can check in with my little one as needed. Aside from that I expect her to tell me not to eat so much and send me on my way. I will fill you all in if there is anything more to add, but I wouldn't count on any excitement.
So I started my blog when Leila was about 4 months old. I did it when I was at that point where I was starting to come down from the hormone surges of pregnancy and giving birth, and I found myself in a moment of morbid thought. I thought, what if something happens to me, and Leila never gets to know who I was? Sure, people will tell her about me, but she won't ever have any of me for herself. So I started this blog, with my first order of business to share some of myself with my daughter, that she may otherwise never have. That isn't the only point of my blog though. I have a lot of family that I love very much, but I don't get to see all that often. I wanted them to have a piece of Leila that they may not have had the chance to know otherwise. So the blog became my way of sharing our lives with everyone out there on the internet who wanted to know us. I am an open person and I really do like for those that I care about to know how I feel about them...so this blog has felt right from the beginning.
I named the blog after Leila, and myself. Mommy to Leila Brianne Coobs. Now I am finding myself at an interesting crossroads, in a couple of ways. First of all...for the past 13 weeks, I have been keeping a big part of myself off of the blog. I have toyed with the idea of sharing my news, but what held me back was that I did not want to take for granted that I would find at the end of this 40 week period the promise that I saw on my positive pregnancy test. I am not one who likes sympathy. I am quick to give it, and I always try to empathize, but I would rather deal with my sadness alone. Now, 13 weeks later, I have nothing to be sad about, aside from my very first migraine, which hit me on Thursday and hasn't left yet. I know that if something had happened to this new baby, not that anything is ever a garauntee, I would have wanted to blog about it, my blog is therapy to me in a lot of ways. But I gave up the opportunity to share on here about my feelings when finding out that Leila will be a big sister, and about my fears as I waited for the day that I could hear that little heartbeat racing away in my belly. I am a little sad about that, but I am also just glad to be here.
Now onto my other dilemma, mommytolbc. I have become pretty attached to this place on the web, so I don't want to relocate to a less specifically named location. For now I will have to be Mommy To Little Baby Coobs's. And as my little babies continue to grow, I wil have to come up with a new way to represent my LBC acronym. I hope baby number 2 doesn't take it personally...as I already love him or her just as much as I do my first LBC.
Now, on to the big questions.
What is your due date? March 9th--Uncle Kim's birthday. Aunt Sheila is hoping I hit her birthday (March 3rd) instead, and I have to say, I am down with earlier rather than later.
Are you going to find out what you are having?
No--We are going to wait and find out when everyone else does.
What does Leila think?
If you ask her about it, she will tell you that mommy has a baby in her tummy, but lets face it, she is clueless. We talk about when the baby comes and she seems cool with everything, but I am sure it will be an adjustment. We are going to take her to our big ultrasound with us so she can see the baby and hopefully that will help her understand.
What does Cory think? He is thrilled, we both are. We know we can't afford a second baby, but we both very much wanted this, and we are excited.
