Fun in the sun!

I am loving the new camera, but I am also incredibly frustrated by it. I want to take great pictures. I have no aspirations of being a professional photographer, but I want to be able to take pictures I want hung on my own wall. So far, using the standard settings on my Nikon produces far supperior results to anything I attempt on manual, and it doesn't seem to me like my adjustments create the kind of results that the internet tells me they will. I am thinking a class of some kind is in order. Now just to find the time!

Woohoo!!!

My new camera is here!!! I know you have missed these faces...

Lift

Have you ever read a book that resonated so closely with your own experience that you are simultaneously enthralled by the beautiful way that *your* experience was presented to you in prose while also feeling a nagging sense of failure for not beating them to it? Afterall, this is exactly how you feel!

Lift, By Kelly Corrigan was a Mother's Day present from my dear husband and children. I opened it up on Mother's Day morning and set it aside to go about the busy life that is waiting on children, cleaning up after a family and hustling out the door to make it to Grandma Lori's house in time to prepare a holiday lunch for the family. You know, mom stuff.

The other morning I found myself with a sleeping baby, occupied pre-schooler and no internet access so I reached for the book. Leila noticed me reading it right away and she said, "Mommy! that is the book we gave you about being a mom!" I was immediately glad that I had picked it up when I could see how proud Leila was to see me using the gift that she gave to me, wrapped up in paper that she and her baby sister had lovingly decorated with crayon.

The book is a quick read, and one that made me wish that I could write. It is the kind of book that I think any mother, any parent, any person who views their life in terms of a risk/reward matrix can relate to. Beautifully written, even if you don't enjoy regular reading, if you have a spare couple of hours give it a try!

Zoey

I remember very clearly the day that Cory and I brought Zoey home with us. We were in the Alero, Cory and I up front and little puppy Zoey in the back seat, running from window to window trying to peak out and get a look at what was going on. She was unsure, and so were we. I think we made two or three stops on the hour long trip, just in case she had to go potty.

Sitting in the car, looking from my husband in the drivers seat to our new puppy in the back I remember thinking, this is it, the beginning of our family, and the last day of just Cory and I.

We brought our puppy home to our new house that we had just moved into the day prior to her arrival.

From the beginning Zoey was mischievous, a definite alpha dog and full of energy but we loved her Shiba spirit.

Now, 6 years later, I look at Zoey and I see my first parental failure. She never got the kind of strict training that a puppy, particularly a Shiba Inu should have. She never got the socialization that would make her a dog that can be around other dogs. She was spayed too early and now has a permanent bladder control issue that requires medication. All of these things make her a challenging pet, but never the less, a member of our family.

Zoey and I have a very complicated relationship.

After Zoey bit my nephew last summer, I have not thought of her in the same way. No longer was she just another member of our family, who just doesn't play well with other dogs, now she was a threat to the children in our lives, and a liability. Yesterday Thea touched Zoey's tail while she was lounging on the floor and Zoey repaid her by biting her face. She bled a little bit, and the two little spots where her teeth broke the skin are now scabbed over and accompanied by a scrape.

I can't even explain how I feel about this situation, and the turmoil it is causing in my family. It is very upsetting. The most upsetting part is that Cory and I don't agree about what to do, and neither of us trusts the others motivation for the stance that we have taken.

No matter how you look at it, I have failed my dog, my first baby. And I have failed my child.

Just another item to add to the list of things that are troubling my heart these days.

Bowling

This weekend we fulfilled our birthday promise to Leila and we took her bowling, along with lots of our friends. In our bowling group was 8 adults 7 children and 2 fetuses, and we all had a blast. I wish I had pictures to prove it! We played two games, and each of the children had their very own distinct bowling style. There is Bryce who runs up to the lane and throws his ball with all of his strength. Bryce is a competitive and clever little guy, who mentioned to me when I had a couple of consecutive gutter balls that maybe I should bowl in the lane with bumpers next time.

Then you have Lilly, who is more of a leisurely bowler...she strolls up to the end of the lane, sits down and gives her ball a gentle backhand, sending it so slowly down the lane that when it makes contact with the pins, you don't know who is going to be left standing...the pin or the ball.

In typical Leila fashion, she choose a ball that was way too heavy for her, but it was purple, her favorite color. Every turn she would drag that heavy purple ball up to the line and give it a good shove, taking the ball's travel time as a perfect break to have a dance with her buddy Lilly while she was still the center of attention standing out on the wooden floor of the bowling alley.

Sawyer and Eli split a game and neither of them was so engaged in the activity to notice that their attempt to throw the ball down the lane was nearly always met with a follow up push from their grown up assistant, they were happy to see the ball go over the end of the lane and into the bowling alley black hole whether or not the pins had fallen! YeongHo and Thea did all of their bowling from their Daddy's arms, but you could tell they had fun. YeongHo's little face would light up in excitement as he rested his hand on the shiny red ball before Bryan heaved it down the lane.

If you can't tell from my descriptions, we had a wonderful time. It was magical watching the kids play together, encouraging and celebrating for each other after each throw. Very little attention was paid to how many many pins fell, but a glimpse into the carefree fun of children was the focus of the evening. My friends have great kids, and so do I. I love them all dearly!

Something else that is awesome

When you are having a bad day, and you reread a blog post about a special event that reminds you of how happy some other days have been. I am sure glad that I have this place to paste my thoughts about my good days.

Awesome

I stumbled upon this blog today and I couldn't help but smile as I skimmed through the entries, so I wanted to post it here. Though it is kind of annoying that every other post is an advertisement for the book, a lot of these "Awesome things" were really awesome things that I never given much thought to. Check this out if you need a little pick me up: http://1000awesomethings.com/

In the spirit of awesome things I will add a couple of my own...

#1 Sweet Soft Baby Skin! It doesn't matter to me if my baby is freshly bathed or post dinner sporting the distinct smell of baked beans, there is nothing that compares to the feel of a baby's sweet mushy skin up against mine. When I was pregnant with Leila I remember thinking about baby skin and feeling giddy at the very idea that I would soon have my own baby skin to snuggle!

I am clenching my jaw right now just thinking about the adorably mush and smooth baby body I have sleeping in the next room. I kinda wanna go pick her up and mush her cheeks. Oh sweet baby skin.

#2 The evening after a long anticipated day. I am talking a family wedding, a big birthday party, or a Holiday celebration. The awesomeness of being done with the work, the party preparations and the socializing. I do like to entertain, but I am an introvert through and through so every big event leaves me exhausted.

Bonus to the evening after a long day would be a husband provided foot rub. Double awesomeness.

#3 Getting the piece of food that was once stuck between your teeth free!