Zoey

I remember very clearly the day that Cory and I brought Zoey home with us. We were in the Alero, Cory and I up front and little puppy Zoey in the back seat, running from window to window trying to peak out and get a look at what was going on. She was unsure, and so were we. I think we made two or three stops on the hour long trip, just in case she had to go potty.

Sitting in the car, looking from my husband in the drivers seat to our new puppy in the back I remember thinking, this is it, the beginning of our family, and the last day of just Cory and I.

We brought our puppy home to our new house that we had just moved into the day prior to her arrival.

From the beginning Zoey was mischievous, a definite alpha dog and full of energy but we loved her Shiba spirit.

Now, 6 years later, I look at Zoey and I see my first parental failure. She never got the kind of strict training that a puppy, particularly a Shiba Inu should have. She never got the socialization that would make her a dog that can be around other dogs. She was spayed too early and now has a permanent bladder control issue that requires medication. All of these things make her a challenging pet, but never the less, a member of our family.

Zoey and I have a very complicated relationship.

After Zoey bit my nephew last summer, I have not thought of her in the same way. No longer was she just another member of our family, who just doesn't play well with other dogs, now she was a threat to the children in our lives, and a liability. Yesterday Thea touched Zoey's tail while she was lounging on the floor and Zoey repaid her by biting her face. She bled a little bit, and the two little spots where her teeth broke the skin are now scabbed over and accompanied by a scrape.

I can't even explain how I feel about this situation, and the turmoil it is causing in my family. It is very upsetting. The most upsetting part is that Cory and I don't agree about what to do, and neither of us trusts the others motivation for the stance that we have taken.

No matter how you look at it, I have failed my dog, my first baby. And I have failed my child.

Just another item to add to the list of things that are troubling my heart these days.