Free Falling

Last night I was driving home from the hospital when it was nearly 11:00 at night. In the car, alone is not an experience I often get, but as I made my way through the country on the curvy road I appreciated being alone with my thoughts. I couldn't help but think about how fragile life is. Cory was left behind at the hospital, spending the night as a precaution on the cardiology floor. I drove down the street, watching the moonlight reflect on the wet pavement and feeling the cool, wet fall breeze through my open window. A beautiful quiet night. I thought about my friend Cindy, who had just left the hospital with a brand new baby girl, and of my brother Clay and Rebekah, who had lost Rebekah's sister unexpectedly last week. Just like that, life will never be the same. Every moment that goes by, someone is losing their sister. Someone is gaining a daughter, someone's heart stops beating, and another is miraculously restored.
I pulled into North Liberty across town from my final destination and I turned up the radio to distract myself from my own thoughts. The first thing I hear, "I wanna free fall out into nothing /Oh I'm gonna leave this world for a while /

And I'm free
Free falling
Falling

I turned up the volume and I sang it at the top of my lungs through the tears forming in my eyes. I found my mantra for the day. You can either worry the whole way down about what the landing might feel like, or you can close your eyes, take a deep breath and enjoy the wind in your face.