Sleep

I love it. Probably more than you do. Whining to follow...

I am a person that could sleep 12 hours every night if it was feasible. Before Thea was born, I was looking at 9 or 10 a night. From 9:00 PM, straight on through to 6 or 7. We had a two month stretch back in June and July where Thea obliged my need for sleep, and slept right on through with me. That time has long since passed, and I am now going on month 4 of no more than 3 or, if I am really lucky 4 hours of continuous sleep. I love my baby, even at 2 in the morning, but the lack of sleep is starting to make me a little bit crazy.
I can't concentrate on anything and I have been some kind of sicky feeling everyday for probably a month. The other day, laying in my bed staring at the dust on my ceiling fan I found myself feeling irrationally angry at the clutter and dirt in my life and at the impending cold weather that I dread so much. I am not very nice to my children or my husband. I don't feel very nice about anyone, but I probably try a little harder in the general public to be nice. I am tired of feeling responsible for so much, and I wish I was a better mother, a better worker, a better wife, a better friend, a better housekeeper. Working towards all of that seems so overwhelming. I would like to think that a few nights of regular sleep, and maybe a visit from a cleaning lady would cure what ails me. For now, I am blaming it on sleep and I will continue to tread water.