S'more!

Thea's first s'more, do you think she liked it?


I think she did...

Babies

Some days, most days lately, I look at my daughters and I just want to drink in their youth; their carefree little spirits, their beautiful sweet soft skin, fluffy cheeks and uninhibited joy. Children are amazing, and their perspective is priceless.
In the car on the way to school yesterday Leila says to me, "Mommy, I am not going to grow up anymore, I am going to stay this size forever!"

I didn't respond right away, because I was thinking to myself right now, when there are no tantrums in sight, that doesn't sound so bad to me. Every day I wake up missing my girls, and every night when they go to bed I am torn between wanting to bask in my freedom from their constant needs, and the sometimes overwhelming desire to sit by their beds all night memorizing their sweet faces and verifying every breath they take. The other night when I woke in the middle of the night to see Leila's scared little face looking at us, I can't say that it bothered me to see Cory lift her up and place her between us in our bed, where our very presence was enough to calm her back to sleep.

I came to my senses, and I reminded Leila that if she stayed this size forever, she wouldn't get to go to kindergarten. Leila has been looking forward to kindergarten for about year now, and with one year left to go to get there, She quickly realized that she couldn't stop growing right now. Instead she told me she would stop growing up as soon as she went to kindergarten.

I responded with, "But what about 1st grade? Do you think that might be fun someday?"
Leila had to think about that for a minute. "Ok, I will go to first grade, and then I am gonna stop growing up!"

I thought I better bring her back down to earth so I replied, "Well Leila, what about being 7, 8, 9??? You never know, maybe 10 is the best age!"

Her face turned sad and she looked down at her lap, that was covered by the special baby blanket that she has loved for the last 4 years. "But Momma, if I keep growing, I am going to outgrow my Nigh Night."

"Leila, even if you get big, you can always keep your nigh night."

Leila looked up at me, a little more hopefully now that I had reassured her that nigh night wasn't going anywhere and she said, "Mommy, no matter how big I get, even when I am 10, I will still be your baby!"

No doubt about it!

I love photography.  Why? The details.  I never want to forget these sweet faces.

Daddy

Happy Daddy's day! As a woman who grew up with an awesome dad, and pats herself on the back all the time for choosing such an awesome dad to make a family with, I love fathers day!

Here is a little father's day love for my baby daddy from the girls....Thea didn't have any answers to the questions below, aside from "da da," so we added a little picture to show how Thea feels about her Daddy.

What is something that Daddy always says to you?
He tells me not to spit at or hit Thea.

What makes Daddy happy?
That I follow his rules.

What makes Daddy sad?
When I don't follow his rules.

How does Daddy make you laugh?
He tickles me.

What was Daddy like as a little boy?
I think he liked new books.

How old is Daddy?
29 (smart girl!)

How tall is Daddy?
about as big as Steve.

What is Daddy's favorite thing to do?
Play with me!

What does Daddy do when you are not around?
He works.

What is Daddy really good at?
Playing hide and seek.

What is Daddy not very good at?
tricking me...He can't trick me!

What does Daddy do for his job?
he types.

What makes you proud of your Daddy?
That he can stay here with me all day as much as he can.

What do you and Daddy do together?
We play together a lot.

If Daddy was in a cartoon, who would he be?
Prince Naveen!

How are you and Daddy the same?
How we will stay together forever.

How are you and Daddy different?
I am the smallest and he is the biggest.

How do you know that Daddy loves you?
Because I love him and I am his sweetest 4 year old girl.

What is Daddy's favorite place to go?
The museum



What is Daddy's favorite food?
I think Daddy's favorite food is meat.

What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy?
I like to play games with Daddy, like baseball and soccer.

Summer in Iowa

Summer in Iowa has potential for all kinds of crazy weather, and for beautiful, majestic and powerful skies...I have to share some of the pictures that we took today.  Keep in mind, we are brand new to the DSLR game and so far, all of our pictures are straight out of the camera, no editing and I am playing with settings so we aren't the most clear and consistent, but the learning curve is fun!

Wow, what a beautiful night to watch the sky!

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

While I wait for Cory to finish playing with the camera so I can upload some new ones for the blog, I will tell you a little bit about my new love.  My new love hides under the mask of "healthy" by containing fruit, and not containing oil.  The downfall, or the highlight, depending on how you look at it, is the chocolate chips.  I was skeptical at first, but trust me...this one is a keeper.

And bonus...there is lots of kid assistance potential, hence my personal banana smasher, and her apprentice:

Chocolate Chip Brown Sugar Banana Bread

• 1 cup Mashed Bananas (2-3 Whole Bananas)
• 4 Tablespoons Butter, Softened
• ¼ cups Apple Butter Or Applesauce
• 2 whole Eggs
• 2 Tablespoons Milk
• ¾ cups Lightly Packed Brown Sugar
• 1-¾ cup Flour (sneak Some Wheat Flour In, Nobody Will Know)
• 2 teaspoons Baking Powder
• ½ teaspoons Baking Soda
• ¼ teaspoons Salt
• ¾ cups Chocolate Chips
• ¼ cups Chopped Walnuts (optional)

Preparation Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Smash the bananas until they’re broken up but not completely smooth. Some lumps are OK.
Add in the butter, apple butter, eggs, milk, and brown sugar. Blend with a hand mixer until everything is incorporated. Again, small lumps are OK.
In a separate bowl, sift the dry ingredients.
Add the dry ingredients to the banana mixture and mix gently with a spoon. When all the flour is mixed in, add your chocolate chips and walnuts.
Spray your loaf pan with cooking spray, and pour in the batter. Bake until golden and a toothpick/piece of dry spaghetti comes out clean, about 60 minutes.
Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and cool to room temperature.
I used half semi sweet and half milk chocolate chips.  Heaven.

Also, since I made muffins (along with a loaf, I told you I love this stuff) the muffins only took about 30 minutes, and more like 45 for the loaf.

To my girls

A couple of items have been weighing heavy on my mind lately.  One of those I will save for another, more inspired day, but the other was dancing through my mind tonight as I walked Zoey in sweet silence just before darkness set in.  I was watching the reflection of my imperfect body and humidity stricken frizz head as I went back and forth pulling and being pulled by the dog, who has never gotten the hang of submission.  I noticed a can laying in the grass and reached down to pick it up.  In one hand I held the leash and in the other, a bag of rather unpleasant smelling dog poo and as many cans and other garbage pieces that I could manage to hold.  Zoey and I were both ready to leave the moist summer air and turn in to our cool apartment.  I dropped the waste into the dumpster by our summer home and took off for the door of our building where you were both sound asleep.
Why does picking up trash make me think of you, my sweet little girls?  One time when I was in college Cory and I were walking back across the Iowa River to our apartments after a football game.  I had been drinking and was feeling good after a fun day at Kinnick.  As we walked along with the rest of the tired mob across the river I saw a beer can sitting on the railing over the river.  I carelessly gave the can a push and it fell down through the railing.  I didn't watch it land, but one of two things happened: 1. It landed in the river and was carried away, joining the many other pieces of carelessly discarded trash items in the river, or 2. It landed on a bank, and someone went to the effort to climb down the bank and pluck it out of the soggy riverbed.
A man walking behind me said something to me about my action.  I don't remember what he said, and it really doesn't matter.  The point is, I did something I should not have done, and he called me out on it.  I started to cry (I had been drinking, plus, I am me, so the crying shouldn't be a surprise.)  Your dad was mad at the man for making me cry, and I told him to let it go. He didn't do anything wrong, I was the one who had something to be ashamed of.  This wasn't the first time in my life that I had felt regretful and ashamed of my actions, and it wasn't the last either.
I don't tell you this story to point out that as much as you currently place me on that pedestal of honor, I am in fact not perfect because I rather enjoy feeling like a celebrity when I walk into the room that you inhabit and am greeted by hugs, kisses and the excited exclamation, "MOMMY!"  I tell you this because someday you are going to find yourself having done something that you know isn't right.  You may feel embarrassed or regretful about your decision.  If you happened to pick up your mom's over sensitive genes, it is ok to cry.  The important thing is that years down the road when you have moved on from that mistake, no matter how big, small or far removed it was, you honor the lesson you learned.  Turn your regret and embarrassment into something you can be proud of, and I will be proud of you.

Most of the time I am not a fun mom. Its ok, I can admit it. I yell at my big kid a lot. Not because I like to yell, but because for some reason my normal speaking voice is inaudible to her 4 year old ears. I can talk and talk and talk, but until I yell, she simply can't hear me. I spend a lot of time counting, or threatening to count, (1-2-3 Magic, if you get to 3, you dole out a time out). Leila hears a lot of "be quiet" "stop that" "be nice to your sister" "put that down" "its time to go now!" You get the picture. I don't like it, I wish we could be buddies, and have fun together all of the time, but the fact is, she is a bit out of control, and I owe it to her and the rest of the world to keep things under wraps in the hopes that when she leaves my home without me, I won't get a call to come and get the beast.

I love my kids, I love to please them, and I really love to surprise them. Today we went to visit a friend of mine and her babies for a while after lunch. Leila REALLY didn't want to leave, but I made her. We had the talk that we frequently have these days when she is being forced to leave somewhere that she wants to stay. The talk goes something like this, "Leila, you know that Mommy wants to take you to fun places, but if you want to get to come back you need to be a big girl and leave when I say it is time to go." After a couple of rounds she usually gets it, and today was one of those times. On the way home she said to me, "Mommy, I really didn't want to go home." So as we turned off towards our summer home and approached the elementary school that we drive past nearly everyday, I pulled into the parking lot and said to Leila, "How about we don't go home? Wanna get out and play?" And so we did. I followed my girls around the playground trying to snap pictures and also keep Thea from taking off and out of my reach. Leila wasn't interested in slowing down for a photo op, and I can't blame her, this was stolen playground time. This wasn't a typical planned trip to the park, this was an out of left field, pull into a parking lot and explore a playground she had never seen before kind of afternoon.

The babes

I really like this picture that Cory took of Thea. She loves this toy and has gotten to the point where she can open and close the doors herself, and then she claps to celebrate. So stinkin cute!



We went to a summer festival in Cedar Rapids last weekend and we had a fun time. Leila got to play on inflatables, which she LOVES and we all got to hang out and enjoy the nice weather before the rain set it.



This is another picture of Thea that shows her little personality. She has started to carry around this purse and stick treasures in it. I just love seeing how much she is picking up from other people. She is doing lots of sign language these days, including "all done," "more," "drink," "milk," and "bath." I can't get enough of my little princesses and they both seem to really like each other and seek each other out to play together during our days together. Life is good!

Progress!

Last Friday night when we drove by our lot, we saw a sight that I never imagined myself being so excited about....

Port Johnny is in place!

Even with some rain early this week, we have seen a bit more progress to report...we now have a hole! :)

Fun in the sun!

I am loving the new camera, but I am also incredibly frustrated by it. I want to take great pictures. I have no aspirations of being a professional photographer, but I want to be able to take pictures I want hung on my own wall. So far, using the standard settings on my Nikon produces far supperior results to anything I attempt on manual, and it doesn't seem to me like my adjustments create the kind of results that the internet tells me they will. I am thinking a class of some kind is in order. Now just to find the time!

Woohoo!!!

My new camera is here!!! I know you have missed these faces...

Lift

Have you ever read a book that resonated so closely with your own experience that you are simultaneously enthralled by the beautiful way that *your* experience was presented to you in prose while also feeling a nagging sense of failure for not beating them to it? Afterall, this is exactly how you feel!

Lift, By Kelly Corrigan was a Mother's Day present from my dear husband and children. I opened it up on Mother's Day morning and set it aside to go about the busy life that is waiting on children, cleaning up after a family and hustling out the door to make it to Grandma Lori's house in time to prepare a holiday lunch for the family. You know, mom stuff.

The other morning I found myself with a sleeping baby, occupied pre-schooler and no internet access so I reached for the book. Leila noticed me reading it right away and she said, "Mommy! that is the book we gave you about being a mom!" I was immediately glad that I had picked it up when I could see how proud Leila was to see me using the gift that she gave to me, wrapped up in paper that she and her baby sister had lovingly decorated with crayon.

The book is a quick read, and one that made me wish that I could write. It is the kind of book that I think any mother, any parent, any person who views their life in terms of a risk/reward matrix can relate to. Beautifully written, even if you don't enjoy regular reading, if you have a spare couple of hours give it a try!

Zoey

I remember very clearly the day that Cory and I brought Zoey home with us. We were in the Alero, Cory and I up front and little puppy Zoey in the back seat, running from window to window trying to peak out and get a look at what was going on. She was unsure, and so were we. I think we made two or three stops on the hour long trip, just in case she had to go potty.

Sitting in the car, looking from my husband in the drivers seat to our new puppy in the back I remember thinking, this is it, the beginning of our family, and the last day of just Cory and I.

We brought our puppy home to our new house that we had just moved into the day prior to her arrival.

From the beginning Zoey was mischievous, a definite alpha dog and full of energy but we loved her Shiba spirit.

Now, 6 years later, I look at Zoey and I see my first parental failure. She never got the kind of strict training that a puppy, particularly a Shiba Inu should have. She never got the socialization that would make her a dog that can be around other dogs. She was spayed too early and now has a permanent bladder control issue that requires medication. All of these things make her a challenging pet, but never the less, a member of our family.

Zoey and I have a very complicated relationship.

After Zoey bit my nephew last summer, I have not thought of her in the same way. No longer was she just another member of our family, who just doesn't play well with other dogs, now she was a threat to the children in our lives, and a liability. Yesterday Thea touched Zoey's tail while she was lounging on the floor and Zoey repaid her by biting her face. She bled a little bit, and the two little spots where her teeth broke the skin are now scabbed over and accompanied by a scrape.

I can't even explain how I feel about this situation, and the turmoil it is causing in my family. It is very upsetting. The most upsetting part is that Cory and I don't agree about what to do, and neither of us trusts the others motivation for the stance that we have taken.

No matter how you look at it, I have failed my dog, my first baby. And I have failed my child.

Just another item to add to the list of things that are troubling my heart these days.

Bowling

This weekend we fulfilled our birthday promise to Leila and we took her bowling, along with lots of our friends. In our bowling group was 8 adults 7 children and 2 fetuses, and we all had a blast. I wish I had pictures to prove it! We played two games, and each of the children had their very own distinct bowling style. There is Bryce who runs up to the lane and throws his ball with all of his strength. Bryce is a competitive and clever little guy, who mentioned to me when I had a couple of consecutive gutter balls that maybe I should bowl in the lane with bumpers next time.

Then you have Lilly, who is more of a leisurely bowler...she strolls up to the end of the lane, sits down and gives her ball a gentle backhand, sending it so slowly down the lane that when it makes contact with the pins, you don't know who is going to be left standing...the pin or the ball.

In typical Leila fashion, she choose a ball that was way too heavy for her, but it was purple, her favorite color. Every turn she would drag that heavy purple ball up to the line and give it a good shove, taking the ball's travel time as a perfect break to have a dance with her buddy Lilly while she was still the center of attention standing out on the wooden floor of the bowling alley.

Sawyer and Eli split a game and neither of them was so engaged in the activity to notice that their attempt to throw the ball down the lane was nearly always met with a follow up push from their grown up assistant, they were happy to see the ball go over the end of the lane and into the bowling alley black hole whether or not the pins had fallen! YeongHo and Thea did all of their bowling from their Daddy's arms, but you could tell they had fun. YeongHo's little face would light up in excitement as he rested his hand on the shiny red ball before Bryan heaved it down the lane.

If you can't tell from my descriptions, we had a wonderful time. It was magical watching the kids play together, encouraging and celebrating for each other after each throw. Very little attention was paid to how many many pins fell, but a glimpse into the carefree fun of children was the focus of the evening. My friends have great kids, and so do I. I love them all dearly!

Something else that is awesome

When you are having a bad day, and you reread a blog post about a special event that reminds you of how happy some other days have been. I am sure glad that I have this place to paste my thoughts about my good days.

Awesome

I stumbled upon this blog today and I couldn't help but smile as I skimmed through the entries, so I wanted to post it here. Though it is kind of annoying that every other post is an advertisement for the book, a lot of these "Awesome things" were really awesome things that I never given much thought to. Check this out if you need a little pick me up: http://1000awesomethings.com/

In the spirit of awesome things I will add a couple of my own...

#1 Sweet Soft Baby Skin! It doesn't matter to me if my baby is freshly bathed or post dinner sporting the distinct smell of baked beans, there is nothing that compares to the feel of a baby's sweet mushy skin up against mine. When I was pregnant with Leila I remember thinking about baby skin and feeling giddy at the very idea that I would soon have my own baby skin to snuggle!

I am clenching my jaw right now just thinking about the adorably mush and smooth baby body I have sleeping in the next room. I kinda wanna go pick her up and mush her cheeks. Oh sweet baby skin.

#2 The evening after a long anticipated day. I am talking a family wedding, a big birthday party, or a Holiday celebration. The awesomeness of being done with the work, the party preparations and the socializing. I do like to entertain, but I am an introvert through and through so every big event leaves me exhausted.

Bonus to the evening after a long day would be a husband provided foot rub. Double awesomeness.

#3 Getting the piece of food that was once stuck between your teeth free!

Bedtime

Tonight I was rocking baby Thea in a failed attempt to get her to sleep. Over the course of her lifetime, the bedtime routine has been fairly consistent. I will nurse her, and sometimes that is enough to send her to dreamland but if not, Daddy would step in and take Thea down to his man room to rock her to sleep while he plays NCAA football on his Xbox. Now that we have the apartment and no second living room, I have had the duty of rocking baby girl to bed on occasion, while Cory keeps Leila occupied (and quiet) in her room.

If you have ever done any reading about getting babies to sleep then you know that one of the rules of thumb is to avoid eye contact with your baby when you want them to sleep. Maybe that is why I am a fairly consistent failure at rocking to sleep...I can not resist those sweet little eyes and every time I look down at her, she reaches up, touches my face and giggles in delight. Rocking baby duty, even if not successful is definitely a rewarding job.

The summer home

We are all moved in to the apartment, and life is good. The apartment has three bedrooms that are all pretty large, along with a big deck, 2 car garage and a closet that puts the closet in our old house to shame. I am in awe of the fact that there is room for all of our clothes to be clean at the same time! Oh the simple pleasures...

The biggest drawback is that we are on the second floor, so taking Zoey out, bringing groceries in and carting kids both ways is a bit of a struggle. The benefit is that Zoey can lounge on the deck and sun herself, something she always has enjoyed about our fenced yard. She is probably having the toughest adjustment but is still doing well with everything.

As nice as it is here, we are looking forward to September and our new house. I am ready to feel settled! We met with our builder this week and were able to see a 3D rendering of our new kitchen, and I am even more excited about everything now. The next step in our process is to get an appraisal done of the plan to ensure that our lender will approve the mortgage for what we are contracted to pay. We don't expect this to be an issue, but as soon as that is done, the contract will be signed and we can get started on construction! Once I have my camera and work gets underway, you can expect lots of progress pictures! I can tell you now that the house is 2 story, with 3 bedrooms, a large bonus room and the laundry all upstairs. Downstairs will be the huge kitchen, dining room, living room and a half bath. The back will have a big deck and our lot borders on a corn field. I know that I will have green siding, and probably a tan stone front on the front of the garage. Very exciting stuff! :)

Birthday

Leila had a birthday, and she got a new set of wheels from Mommy and Daddy! I think she likes the bike, what do you think?

This year we tried something new and had a joint party for the birthday buddies Leila and Sawyer. I was thankful to have the party at Andrea's, since we had moved into the apartment only a week before and we closed on the house the day before the party. It went really well, the kids had a great time and I can't even describe to you how I felt seeing Leila arrive at Andrea's for the party, in her special new outfit that she picked out. She was so excited and happy, my cup run-nth over!

All week she asked who would be at her party and she told us that she was going to invite all of her aunts and uncles, the girl loves her family.

We are planning to take her bowling as a birthday bonus with a few of her friends, but things have been pretty hectic lately so we will see when that happens.

Back in Business...kind of

Today was the closing on our old house and it is officially sold!  We are settling into our summer home on the other side of North Liberty and we gave in and set up internet and cable TV, so in that respect...I'M BACK!  The bad news is, that in our move, we seem to have misplaced the camera.

Leila celebrated a birthday yesterday, her fourth, and we gave her a new bike with princess's on it and pink tassels on the handlebars...she is a happy girl!

Tomorrow is her party, as well as Cory and I's 6th wedding anniversary.

Hiatus

This isn't exactly a planned absence, but we shut off our internet at home a few weeks ago, and we are moving this week, so I promise I will be back as soon as we get a bit more settled into our "summer home."

Thea at one year

Thea had her 1 year appointment this week.  I had already made plans to visit my friend and her twin babies in the NICU so Cory had the task of taking Thea to the Doctor.  She weighed in at 26 lbs, 9 ounces, and she is 30 and 3/4 inches tall.  She is a big girl.

She isn't walking yet, but she stands unassisted and will give you the, "look at me, aren't I hot stuff?" face while she does it.  She has taken one step and fallen quite a few times, but she is in way too much of a hurry to try to slow down and balance herself walking, she would much prefer to turbo crawl.  This is really fine with me, she is already growing up too fast.

She is a great baby girl, she loves to eat bananas.  Her boppy pillow is a big hit, she is so cute lounging in it like it is a recliner. Blankets are a big hit with Thea too.  She has a favorite pink blanket that Grandpa Warren got for her, but she will smoosh her face in and roll around on the floor with just about any blanket she can find.  She loves toys that play music she can dance too and she has a couple of words.  She says Mama, Dada, LaLa (Leila), Dog, all done and yeah.  I haven't heard her say no yet, but I am sure that one will come soon.

Leila and Thea still get along pretty well, but for some reason they both always want the same toy.  That gets really frustrating for all of us!

Cory and I are trying to get moving on the packing business...next week we close on our lot and then two weeks after that we get our apartment so we can move out of here and get it cleaned up before our house closing.   I am anxious to get to a slightly more settled point in this transition so I am looking forward to May!  Not only will we be settled into our new temporary home, but we will be welcoming a new baby girl into the Howard family when Andrea and Steve's daughter arrives.  We can't wait!

The underdogs

Sometimes I will flip on a football or basketball game, even though the Hawkeyes aren't competing, just to watch a game (especially in tourney/bowl season!). I will watch the game, and as time ticks away on the game clock, I inevitably pick a team to root for. My heart generally does the picking, and I am sucker for the underdog. I love to see hard work pay off over prestige, it's in my nature.

I try to look at politics from this light as well. I don't want to be a narrow minded party line voter, and I am disgusted by divisive and misleading techniques used by both political parties. I used to enjoy politics. Not anymore. So I guess it is more like being forced to watch a hockey game than choosing to watch football or basketball, but anyway, you get the point.

The hotly contested health care bill was signed by President Obama today, and I have been doing a lot of reading. Reading to help me understand what the bill means, and mostly to calm some of my fears. The uncertainty and inevitable change that it will bring to all Americans is definitely unsettling, but I couldn't help but root for the underdog, and I was happy to see it pass, and the more I read about the bill, the less I worry about the future, and the the happier I am for those who are immediately and positively effected. Like the 5 year old cancer survivor who has now beat cancer twice, and no longer will have to worry about not qualifying for health insurance because at 5, she has already nearly exhausted her lifetime limit imposed by the insurance company, not to mention that ugly diagnosis that works against her as a pre-existing condition.

Everything comes at a cost, and some things are just worth it, in my mind. I am praying for America now, because I know there are a lot of scared and unhappy people here now, but I am hopeful that good things are to come, and I have to believe that we are doing God's work by taking care of each other. It isn't perfect, but it is a start.

Thea girl

Andrea and I took Thea with us today while the big kids went to daycare.  From the moment that I loaded her into Sawyer's big kid, forward facing car seat, you could see in her face that she felt like hot stuff!  Every time I looked back at her in the back seat she would give me a big grin and a giggle, and I loved that she felt special. After a morning of shopping we went to lunch at the Olive Garden, just the three of us.  I watched my big girl sitting in her high chair and I realized how much this day meant to me.  I now know that I need to take more time with Thea alone, and not let her position as second child mean that she is just an add on to what we have already built, but also a really special little girl who needs attention all on her own too.  Or maybe it is Mommy that needs to focus more on my individual children, but either way, I had a great day with my little girl, and I look forward to more days like this, and some big girls days as well! :)  Life is good and I am going to pretend it isn't snowing tonight and my bank account isn't empty. 

Since it has been so long...

I look weird, but Thea is so cute...She loves that toy too!
A left over gift bag filled with one of my top two gifts of all time! :)
She looks so grown up here sitting with Stewart at the mall
Dancing!
Cuties!

She's 1!

The favorite gift of the day! A wagon from Grandma Lori and Papa Carey!
Thea likes getting presents!
Thea does not like birthday cake.

Springing...

There is something about the melting snow, longer days and boxes of girl scout cookies that makes it really hard to stay unhappy. Spring is in the air, and I am anxiously awaiting the day when I can take the girls out without jackets. I can tell it is coming!

I still can't find my card reader, and that is a real bummer. Thea is growing up so much and doing many cute things that I have caught on film, but have no way of sharing. The girl loves to dance and she loves her maracas. It is very sweet to see her holding them and doing a little dance.

She is standing on her own for a few seconds at a time, but she promptly sits down as soon as she realizes that the toys in her hands aren't supporting her. She just seems so grown up, the last couple of weeks have seemed to age her tremendously. She is such a joy, I can't imagine our family without her.

Leila is her same super sassy and sweet self. She got to go bowling with her dad for Bowl for Kids Sake a couple of weeks ago and she loved it. She has asked to go again several times since then. She was the only little kid around, but that didn't bother her a bit. She loves people, and she loves parties. She followed that up with attendance at a retirement party for one of my teammates, and a graduation party for another work friend of ours. Quite the socialite she is turning into. One common theme...the fit she throws when she has to leave.

Thea's party is next Saturday, and I am really hoping to find that card reader before then!

Sisters

The other day I was sitting in the car with my two girls while we waited for Cory. Thea was cranky and tired in her car seat. Leila reached down into the space between the two car seats and grabbed a toy. She flipped the switch on and the maraca began to play music as Leila held it out across the back seat and handed it to Thea, "our baby." Just one small example of what a wonderful sweetheart of a big sister Leila is.

Thank you Leila for making our family of four such a loving place to be.

House stuff

Someday I am going to look back at this time in my blogging existence and be really annoyed that I didn't take and share more pictures. I do have some, but the camera hasn't gotten much love these days, and I have no idea where the card reader is. I have a habit of doing a last minute "clean" before we have a showing, and that cleaning consists of me throwing whatever clutter happens to be around into a Rubbermaid tub that then gets shoved in a closet. There are a lot of missing items that I am sure will someday be unearthed in a Rubbermaid tub.

So I haven't said anything because I really didn't want to jinx it. I still don't want to jinx it, and yet, here I go sharing....

We have accepted an offer on our house. The home inspection is complete, with only a few small known issues that we are going to take care of. No termites. We find out about Radon tomorrow, and all of the wheels are in motion for us to be out of this house on April 23rd. A date chosen by the buyer.

In the meantime, we have a lot. We will close on the lot on March 31st, and construction will begin April 1. We picked out a plan, and we are working on finalizing the details and getting a final price and contract in place.

Saturday morning Cory and I are going to look at an apartment that we would be able to lease on a short term basis (6 months, beginning in April). The apartment is 3 bedrooms and has a two car garage, so really, we aren't going to lose very much space, but we also aren't going to lose much of the monthly cost of living either. Though, given the short term nature of our needs, and the fact that it has three bedrooms, and that our dog is allowed to live with us makes that worth it. We will have a place for the summer that actually fits our family, and we will save money on not having to purchase more storage. Provided we get this lease, which I think we will.

So many blessings and so much good news makes me feel very fortunate, and also makes me worry about what bad thing is going to knock me to my knees. For now, I am basking in the good, and hoping that everything works as it should. September should find us all moved into our new forever (hopefully!) home.

About 6 years ago when I was newly graduated from college I started my first "real job" as a telephone customer service representative. For my job I interacted with elderly people on the phone, who were generally having a hardship that caused them to need help. One day I took a call from a woman who was at the end of her rope. I can not remember what her issue was, I just remember spending a lot of time trying to convince her that things would be ok. The most memorable part of the call was the very end. I had defused her anxiety enough that she was calm, and had a plan. She thanked me for helping her and then she asked me what my name was. I told her my first name and she reacted in shock. She told me that her daughter, who had been a powerful supporter for her but had passed away was named Tricia. She said that our conversation, and my care for her was a sign from her daughter, and she was happy.

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" Philippians 4:13

I was reminded in church this last week of this verse, and of the importance of remembering that in everything I do, I am representing my faith. All my accomplishments are a testament to God, and all of my hardships represent an opportunity to show the strength and resilience that I possess because of my faith. And sometimes, through no choice of my own, I am doing God's work, so it is important to do it well and to realize that the lord is at work in all of us if we allow him.

Cory did take Thea's 11 month picture, and I will post it as soon as I can get up the ambition.  Right now I am just reminding myself of my new shoes post and keeping my mouth shut.  I have had an upsetting couple of weeks and I am just trying to grow a thicker skin and some extra patience.

Roseanne

Last Thursday I was sitting at my desk when one of the frequent Hancher emails popped into my inbox.  On this day I decided to scan it before sending to my trash can, and the name Roseanne Cash caught my eye.  I am not really "in to" music of any kind myself.  I listen to lots of different things, but I haven't been to a concert in years and it generally isn't something that appeals to me enough to be worth the cost, but...my mom LOVES Roseanne Cash.  So we bought 5 of the very last tickets available to a show that was held last night, and my mom, my sisters and I had dinner and an evening with Roseanne Cash's list.

When the lights went down and Roseanne Cash graced the stage with her presence and then her strong and beautiful voice, I was swept back in time.  I felt myself sitting on the gold carpet of the house in Tabor in front of mom's prized stereo.  Roseanne started right in with songs from her latest album, "The list" which consists of 12 of the 100 essential country songs that her father had mandated that she learn, in order to know her musical genealogy.  The songs weren't familiar, but the sound of her voice felt like a warm memory of a time when my own mom was teaching us the love of music.

The entire evening felt like a reunion with my childhood, a reunion with my family as I sat in line with the women who most influence me, and the love between Roseanne and her father permeated the air in the small theater.  After several songs from "The List"  Roseanne stopped to talk about her own daughter, and wondered if she were ever to make a list for her future child, would she include any of her mother's songs?  With that, the familiar tune to "Seven Year Ache" began to play and once again, the overwhelming memories of singing and dancing to that very song with my mom in our little farm house in Tabor came over me.

There is something so surreal about sitting at a concert with your grown sisters and mother, who is now a grandmother; listening to a performer pour out her heart and soul into a performance inspired by her own father.  The memories, the love, the legacy.  An amazing night.

 

This picture projected over the stage while Roseanne performed her final song of he night displayed the loving tutelage between Roseanne Cash and her father. That song was written by Porter Wagner and is titled, A Satisfied Mind.

How many times have you heard someone say

If I had his money I would do things my way
But little they know that it's so hard to find
One rich man in ten with a satisfied mind

Once I was winning in fortune and fame
Everything that I dreamed for to get a start in life's game
Then suddenly it happened I lost every dime
But I'm richer by far with a satisfied mind

Money can't buy back your youth when you're old
Or a friend when you're lonely or a love that's grown cold
The wealthiest person is a pauper at times
Compared to a man with a satisfied mind

When life has ended my time has run out
My friends and my loved ones I'll leave there's no doubt
But there's one thing for certain when it comes my time
I'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind.

Tonight I held my baby girl Thea on my hip and danced in the kitchen like my Mom used to do while Roseanne Cash sang Tennessee Flat Top Box over my laptop speakers, a song written by Johnny Cash; and for a few minutes I didn't have a worry in the world, but a satisfied mind. 

New Shoes

“I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet"

This saying popped into my head this morning.  When I was in college I had a little book that I had filled with quotes that I had read or heard that really resonated with me.  If I remember correctly, this quote graced the first page of that book.  At that time I was going through a rough spot. I am not really sure why, probably just the last bit of teen-aged angst showing its face. I had to remind myself all the time that as much as I wanted to complain about my mediocre grades and my lack of funds or clear direction in my life, I really had no right to complain. 

I have found that that attitude is a double edged sword. Sure, it is great to keep things in perspective and count your blessings. But sometimes, no matter how many blessings you have, counting them doesn't do much to make you feel better about life, and that is doubly depressing.

Jealousy and longing are really ugly traits, and I am feeling fugly these days. I wanted to speak to my attitude for just a moment, and to say that if all of my updates are quick family status reports or pictures of my beautiful girls for a while, I am just following that the universal rule, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Our first parent/teacher conference

Love A Lot has a system of evaluation, where both Cory and I, and Leila's teacher fill out an evaluation form about Leila and her development and behavior.  Now that Leila is in pre-school, we had our first sit down discussion about Leila, and the differences in the way that we had scored her.
Cory wasn't able to make it because Thea was home with her first fever on Thursday, so I represented for both of us.
Overall, we both agreed that Leila is a very smart little girl.  She has an awesome vocabulary and she is capable of carrying on very adult conversations. She has been this way for some time, and I really appreciate that about her.  One other major area of agreement...girlfriend is STUBBORN.
A couple of things that I got to hear from Krystal that I didn't already know about Leila was that she does her own thing, she doesn't have a "best friend" at school, but can be found playing with any and all of the kids in the class at different times, and is also happy to play by herself if no one else is interested in her activity of choice.  This made me really happy.  I don't want my kid to be a loner, but I do really want her to be confident and happy without needing to feel accepted and validated by those around her.  Of course, she is just nearing the 4 year mark and lots can change over the years.  I am sure that we will have tough times, because lets face it...kids are assholes to each other.  I just really hope that my kid isn't often the ass hole, and is confident enough to not let other kids get her down.
The other thing that I honestly have worried about, and had my fears put to rest (somewhat) by my conference with Krystal, is that the teachers at Love A Lot view Leila as a compassionate kid.  She watches out for the other kid's feelings.  When another kid is building a tower, Leila will cheer them on and would never dream of knocking it over.  In my experiences with Leila, this isn't really true.  She isn't the nicest to Sawyer and to Thea.  I wouldn't call her compassionate, and it has caused me a lot of concern.  It is nice to know that she does display that behavior at school.  I wonder if it has to do with the fact that she spends a lot of time with younger kids outside of school, I can see that it might be harder to be nice to a baby that doesn't reciprocate that same courtesy.  At least that is what I am going to tell myself.
So there you have it, Leila is smart, friendly, independent and compassionate.  Does it get any better than that?

Swimming lessons!

Cory is such a trooper...he swam with Thea while I watched Leila from the deck.  The idea of wearing a swimming suit makes me want to cry.

Leila leading the charge into the pool! I am so proud of how brave and agreeable she is about swim lessons.  She is a leader and shows the other kids that it's ok to get your hair wet!.

 

Look at those chunky thighs! I had two other mom's come up to me at swim lessons to ask if that was my baby and both commented that she was so adorable and chunky, which she is!

Thea loved swimming lessons!

This picture is zoomed, which my camera doesn't do very well, but she looked so cute holding that little ball! 

Sorry for the lack of Leila pictures.  It was hard to get her without the teacher and the other kids.